Pirate Master
I Want That Treasure

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: C | Grade It Now!
I Want That Treasure

Up on deck, the officers pass out the "summonses," and Joy, John, and Louie see the black spots on theirs. "I think it wise not to badmouth the Captain anymore," Louie says, and laughs uproariously. Joy gets totally emotional. John steals the ship's two compasses to keep himself safe, and to use as leverage to lead a mutiny against Joe Don.

Pirates Court happens on a rainy night amidships, with Cameron presiding. "Pirates Court's in session," Cameron says in all seriousness, and calls Louie as the first to defend himself. Louie's whole argument is that he loves everyone and they'll all miss him if he goes, and all he wants is fair pay for the job he does. Joy says that she's given her all, and that they don't want her to go any more than she does.

John's argument is that he's on the block because he didn't vote for Joe Don to be Captain, and busts out the compasses he stole. "If I go, they go," he threatens. He asks if they really want to lose Joy or Louie or the compasses, or if they'd rather just ditch the guy who took half the treasure and gave everyone extra duty (by which he means Joe Don, not that most of these people seem to follow his logic). He even pulls out his own summons as a visual aid to demonstrate what a black mark looks like, but he's all awkward about it. I hope he's a really good scientist.

Cameron asks Joe Don how this makes him feel. Joe Don makes a big speech about how he can steer himself by the sun and the stars, trying to sound all annoyingly period-language the whole time, until he finally can't stop himself from saying "piece of cake." John calls Joe Don's bluff and asks him to point north at that moment. Joe Don looks up at the cloudy sky and says he has no idea, but he's sure it's easier in the daytime.

Cameron tells the ten pirates in the jury that they each have four cards: one for each of the marked pirates, and one Mutiny card for the Captain. One at a time, they come up and spike the cards on a dagger positioned point-up. I hope that isn't there all the time, or someone's going to get hurt on that thing. We don't get to see any of the votes. Cameron counts them up, and Seacrests Joy back to the crew. "Your voyage continues," he says, to applause. Louie is similarly safe. Before telling us whether John or Joe Don is done, Cameron says that the vote was unanimous -- and then tells John, "Your voyage is ended. You will be cut adrift." Cameron calls Joe Don down to do the honors, and everyone watches as John climbs over the side onto a raft and Joe Don uses a prop sword to cut the line holding John's to the ship. Everyone looks sad, for some reason. As John "drifts" off on a raft that seems to move with rather suspicious purpose, he narrates, "Nobody really cared about the compasses. That may or may not have been a mistake." You think?

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Pirate Master




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