Amber: "I wish I had tried with the lyrics, but I didn't."
Kara: "Wrong answer, little lady."
Karen: "I did okay. The only non-shitty parts were me."
Nick: "Who was the worst? I bet it was all of you."
Johnny: "Kind of yes."
AND YOUR PONYTAIL IS MAGIC
Jewel: "Amber and Johnny, you are safe. Johnny explained why earlier."
Amber: Weeping. Why.
Backstage: Hug City.
Kara: "Blessing, you are full of it. Karen, you write songs for idiots."
Jewel: "Songwriting is hit or miss, and tonight -- Blessing -- you missed. You can't just opt out of a songwriting session. Karen, there's only room for one kooky blonde on this show besides me, and given that Melissa might actually have something wrong with her, you need to find a new Thing."
I always thought Jewel was a smart lady, but this show is such a showcase for the very respectable person she's become. She's gone from being like the wacky neighbor or Phoebe to being a sort of elder statesman. Dignified, well-spoken, stylish. Neat. That's neat, right?
She is a snaggled mess of contradictions, though. Sometimes I think the Intuition thing is the coolest thing that ever happened, and other times I think it's like, well, Katy Perry probably thinks she's using the system too, when in fact that dumbass is really just enthusiastically participating in her own exploitation, full stop, like any other victim whose choices play out their basic historical trauma, whether it's porn or stripping or what-have-you, and we can talk about the permutations of that at a later date but my final word on the subject is: Russell Brand. Case closed.
So yes, it's a given that Katy Perry doesn't understand you're a whore either way, but I always thought Jewel totally did, and probably thought it was funny in exactly the same way that it really is very funny. And while usually the "at least he knows it" defense of poor behavior doesn't count, I always felt like Jewel did it with, hmm, like a panache or an intelligence or something -- maybe just that she did it that crucial year-or-two earlier than everybody else, and made it seem avant and cool -- that actually did redeem it. I guess I'm not done thinking about that.
Anyway, Next Week: Bates Motel; Johnny goes on a murder spree. Jes and Johnny fall in yet more heterosexual love.