Platinum Hit
Kiss The Flame

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Kara: "I wish I was gay when I hear that song."
Jewel: "Nick, you little goblin. Stop dancing around."
Keith: "I would love to remix that song."

They clown out and it's pretty lovable. Nick finds a way to be silly about it and point out how hard he worked for the best parts of the song, the better to be featured in Spin. Everybody has to stand there while they decide on MVP, and of course it is Nick, because he just told them to think that. Keith loves the melody of the chorus, and Kara congratulates him for doing his usual bullheaded deal because it won the game for them. Gay things occur at quite a rate as they head backstage.

Jewel: "Brian, why did you change that pretty song from the hook challenge?"
Brian: "We were dealing with personal shit and wanted to universalize it. We didn't really change the hook that much going into the song."
Keith: "I did not feel sufficiently empowered."
Jes: "Okay, I wrote the verse lyrics and melodies, including the lines you liked."
Jewel: "Others of them we didn't. There was a Hanna Montana-ness in there."
Kara: "I wrote 'Sober' with P!nk. You could have done this. Also, Scotty was right and this song was from five years ago."
Jes: "I should have spoken up about the melodies."
Kara: "You're saying Brian delegated your part and then ditched you?"
Brian: "How horrible. If I'd known she needed permission to exist I would have worked around that."

It gets super intense real quickly and Jes calls herself a fucking idiot and they both fuss and spit and Jes starts into this whole weird deal about how she's a failure. Brian lists his qualifications -- sundry genres, hitmaker intuition -- while in his estimation Jes does not have those powers. Jes agrees that she has not demonstrated any particular gifts for this show, but promises to be good at this show one of these days, and then stomps and squeals and scares the piss out of Colby Caillat.

Jewel: "That was like watching an exorcism. Like an exorcism of a boring demon out of a boring person who just figured out they have zero personal agency."


Jes continues to hurl herself around like a nutbar screaming about what a pushover she is, as though she just noticed this fact. Brian and Scotty stare, eyes wide, as the exorcism continues. There is something not entirely authentic about this fit she's throwing, which I think adds to the trainwreck aspect. It's suspect and more than a little creepy. Nick tries to offer words of "encouragement" about how sometimes it's better to be a dick, and she tells him to fuck off because nobody wants to hear it. Sonyae just kind of giggles and watches her act crazy; they're all shocked that she's even having, like, an opinion. It's both boring and unpleasant at the same time.

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Platinum Hit




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