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Make It Pop

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Not Everybody Thinks The World Is Ending

Previously: Nick was still and ever awful, My Ridiculous kissed the flame for the very last time, and Jes came face to face with her central issue, inspiring her to promptly lose her shit all over the place.

Presently: Nick, Jes, Scotty and Sonyae.

Nick: "I don't care where Jes goes, but she is going and I hope it harms her."
Scotty: "Looking at the numbers, Nick and I are about even for wins."
Jes: "Today is my opportunity to actually take part in this show. I better act super weird and hostile, since that's working for Nick. I guess the opposite of yourself is just the same thing, when you're totally vague."

Scotty & Sonyae: "Here are some runs we might sing some time."
Jewel: "Calm down, you guys. It's very important that you assume a professional stance so that you can meet my friend Perez Hilton. I call him 'my friend' because if you don't pretend to be friends with him, he will draw jizz on your face without a second thought. And then everybody will think you have jizz on your face, because people are stupid and think the internet is real."

This is just between us, okay, but I remember this one time we plugged our astrologicals into a website that said who your celebrity boyfriend would be, and Anna got Criss Angel, and I was making fun of her until I looked over and she seemed really calm about it, like, What are you going to do? That makes sense. I was struck by her honesty and ever since then I've viewed Mr. Angel in a more respectful way. You might say she freaked my mind.

And so in turn I shall freak yours: I feel the same way about Perez Hilton: I absolutely love him. (If this is not a mindfreak to you, please don't tell me.) I think he is smashing and I've never really had even the glimpse of a lock on why. I've certainly never admitted this to anybody out loud, but we're tight, right? And there are about three people reading this anyway, so I guess you've earned it, even if I can't explain it. Frankly, I'm afraid of looking at it too closely. It freaks my own mind. And yet, despite my feeling that we are soulmates, I must question whether "Celebrity Blogger/Music Executive" is even a job, and also whether it accurately describes ol' Mario exactly.

Perez: "I don't know why I'm here either! So I have dressed myself as Mr. Mxyzptlk."
Jes: "I think he invented music or something."
Jewel: "Write a pop song."
Perez & Nick: "We love pop songs!"
Nick: "I have been writing the same pop song since I was fourteen. And in those three weeks I have learned a lot."

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