Platinum Hit
Make It Pop

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Not Everybody Thinks The World Is Ending

He sings the song and it's less lovely all the time, because Nick can't sing and doesn't believe people even actually sing.

*(N.B. The first thing Google autocompletes when you look up the spelling of "Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio" is mary elizabeth mastrantonio feet. Just so I'm not the only person who knows that.)

Kara: "How's the hook feeling?"
Nick: "Not so great right now."
Kara: "It's nice that you're attempting authenticity at this time. I feel like it would be counterproductive to point out that your whole life is about attempting authenticity, though, which is itself a contradiction in terms, so let's start with a good hook, okay?"

Nick: "I am not interested in following your advice and will be ignoring the hook. What I can do, though, is creepily sexualize our relationship because I can't stand the idea of your authority over me, even in a mentorship role."
Kara: "Yeah, just like every other day of my life. Come back when your balls drop, kid."


Sonyae: "My song is called 'Exit.' Basically I just say that word a lot."
Kara, verbatim: "What you have is the Gift of Concept."

Sonyae: "As oft-discussed, I don't have any melody to speak of. Ever."
Kara: "I was going to say that."
Sonyae: "You have rocked my existence to the core."

Sonyae suddenly is flailing in the weeds and weeping at the console even though Kara merely said the same thing that Jewel, Perez, and everybody on this show every single week always says, including Sonyae herself. I really hope this one isn't the one where Sonyae cracks. I don't want that one to even exist.

Although speaking of breakdowns, it's sort of chilling that we break for commercial after three of these Kara sessions, meaning we could very well be dealing with ten minutes of Jes in a minute. Immediately the image is of Jes pressed against the cornered ceiling of the recording studio, screaming in Aramaic, everything's on fire, Kara's down there saying Our Fathers in Latin trying to calm her down. One wonders not whether but how closely this will prove correct.


Jes, verbatim: "I'm so not into fronting..."
Kara: "It's neat that you have such pretty melodies, but like every week your lyrics are just kind of self-pitying and fronting in that P!nk way that you still seem to believe is empowering and not just sort of gross."
Jes: "Yo."

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Platinum Hit




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