Previously: Hipsters in love are worse than regular style. Jes showed her unique style, Johnny showed his less-unique but still very strong talent. Jackie wanted more than she ever could explain. Karen went home to cook you a meal and beg for your affection in the most hackneyed possible words she could think of.

MORNING

Nick is, let's just ease into the shocks one by one, not a morning person.

Nick: "Dude I had this depressing dream that Karen went home, but then I woke up and it was real."
Scotty: "Usually people tell that story when somebody died, like their grandma or whatever. I guess vague, sentimental game show contestants are similar."
Everybody: "I wish Melissa would go home. She is the worst."
Nick: "I wish more that Jackie would leave. She is all about Jackie. There is never a dull moment in her life, or a moment that doesn't bear telling the universe about."
ibid.: Is half the time quite a cocksucker, but he is never, ever wrong.

Jackie, verbatim, as proof: "I'm dressed as a warrior today! Ready to redeem myself!"
Everybody: Indulges her.
Sonyae: Ululates at a high frequency. Possibly this in support of Warrior Jackie; it is equally possible she's just working on her hook for today.
Melissa: This is the first thing Jackie's said that makes sense to her, probably.

Theme: Jackie is in this to win this, this week.
Implication: Jackie's going to get it smack in the box this week.

I must say, I'm worried. I have fallen for old Jackie Tohn, as bizarre as it is to admit. It's kind of a relief, because I don't like hating people. Even when it's richly deserved, which as it turns out maybe it wasn't, in this case. And plus -- this is on me, I am an idiot, it's a known fact -- but I honestly think that part of it is that I had it in my head that she was from Silver Lake on the west coast, and not Long Island Silver Lake, which I've never heard of. Long Island Jackie makes total sense and is lovable. Silver Lake CA, that shit is way too much to deal with.

Isn't that weird? I'm sure there's other things like that, like, hipsters in Dallas are way dumber and more service industry-oriented than hipsters in Austin, which makes them hella easier to take as hipsters but way less interesting to be around as people.