Platinum Hit
Platinum Hit

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 672 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Do Not Miss Your Chance to Blow

(This means that Jackie-Brian-Amber are in trouble.)

Once again, Johnny wins. Scotty is thrilled because neither Sonyae's well-travelled lyrical roads nor the "super white people" song won; he's sad that Melissa is still there but gives the camera some major shade: "Not for long, trick."

Nick sucks his teeth, and tries once again to get everybody talking about how much we all hate Jackie. They don't go along with that, but they do finally engage in his larger project of talking about how much she goes on and on about herself, which admittedly is a rich trove. Even Jen and Sonyae are like, "The girl has lots of words inside her." The tone is more group-cathartic fun than perhaps the conversation Nick would like to have curated, but we'll see if he can take it darker while the judging continues.

Brian: "Our song was not overtly commercial, but as a novelty, one-hit-wonder type of thing, it's pretty creative."
Jackie: Cannot believe his defense of the team, and thus her, involved the words "one-hit wonder." I have to admit, I'm officially scared now.
Judges: "Okay, but this was not even good comedy. Perhaps some social commentary or something, to let the rest of us in on the joke. White girls who don't know anything about rap do not, as a rule, enjoy songs in the genre of rap."
Jackie: "I... Am at a loss for words. For the first time in my life. Fear is actually happening."

Jewel: "Maybe you should have thought more about our visiting judge's past projects. Absolutely nobody in the history of music is more of a fucking joke than the Black-Eyed Peas, who are essentially Yo Gabba Gabba for drunk stupid people, which is their genius and their triumph. Less can be more."
Jackie: "I do not know what this word 'less' means. We thought we were following his notes about Missy Elliott."
Jewel, teeth gnashing: "Are you comparing yourself to Missy Elliott?"
Jackie: "No ma'am! No I do not! Am not! Forgive me!"

Jewel: "So what the fuck was that?"
Jackie: "Honestly, I think I misunderstood what you liked about the hook."
True, and understandable, but a wrathful Jewel will not be denied.

Platinum Hit

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