Nick: The usual.
Melissa: Tries to have like one idea.
Sonyae: "Melissa, if you could just shut the fuck up."
Good, be mean to her. After that "simple brain" shit last week there will never be a problem with that.
Everybody's getting dizzy and giddy and confused because they're on totally restricted time for this doomed exercise and it's getting late at night and the trios have all broken down into pairs and extras:
Scotty: "I should honestly just shut the fuck up -- STFU, as Johnny would say -- because he's totally turning this into a stage for his gender performance."
Melissa: "I should honestly just shut the fuck up because Sonyae's going to punch me pretty soon."
Brian: "I checked out of this shit literally hours ago because you guys are both wearing capes and won't shut up."
My Ridiculous does a little dance while Amber records her doo-wop riff; they are nervous but maybe it'll be okay.
Back home, Scotty and Nick Vogue together (one of Scotty's best and most favorite things) and Scotty reminds us that Nick's desire to be an asshole is at odds with his not being an asshole. But he is a very good actor, at least, when acting like an asshole. Method. Really believable.
I mean, I get desperately wanting people to like you -- obviously I understand that part of it on a fundamental level -- but then you shoot yourself in the foot by also playing the "I'm an asshole who doesn't give a shit" card. It just seems so inefficient and dumb. It's like, who are you trying to impress? Who is going to somehow be fooled by both things? I say pick your thing and go for it. Look at Jackie: She does desperation and niceness, and it works way better for her.
Jes goes to visit Johnny in his lonely bachelor pad, and they drink wine, and talk about themselves and talk about each other which is really just also talking about themselves. Eventually they drink enough to slur their words and awkwardly flirt in the grodiest saddest hugging. No door-sliding this week, which honestly would have been funny given how much they ended up drinking just to deal with the horrible fact of each other.
Johnny: Still nervous about rapping. Still not-so-secretly convinced he can do no wrong.
Jackie: Dressed like 100% of an asshole. Dressed like a Carrie Brownstein joke about Jackie Tohn.
Team Johnny-Jes-Scotty start with their song about walking through walls. The highlight is Scott's range, then Jes's harmonies with him... And then Johnny puts a knitcap on his head and sleeveless shirt and sings in an urban way, and it's a bloodbath. The track carries it, but if you Baywatch it and just watch Johnny and forget how he normally looks, then you can pretend he's like the scuzzy hot perp on an episode of SVU that turns out to just be a thug. Oh, for Johnny to have played 8-Mile the Pedophile on The Killing. What a different show that might have been.