Platinum Hit
Rap Heroes

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Do Not Miss Your Chance to Blow

Jewel: "So what the fuck was that?"
Jackie: "Honestly, I think I misunderstood what you liked about the hook."
True, and understandable, but a wrathful Jewel will not be denied.

Jewel: "Your job was to write a hit song. You understood that part, at least?"
Jackie: "Yes."
Jewel: "And did you fucking write a hit song?"
Jackie: "I thought possibly..."
Jewel: "Look into my eyes and tell me honestly that you are so fucking retarded that you thought that song was worthy of existing. That I should not pull out a knife and gut you where you stand. Swear to me in front of all these people that you believe this lie."
Jackie: Tries; fails.

Judges: Loving it. This is one of those shows where you can pause at almost any point throughout a given episode and somebody is making an amazing face.

Then they go after their lyrics, specifically one by beautiful sweet Amber, and the temperature drops even more. The lyric involved a canopy bed, I'll say that. The judges go after her for still not having a recognizable point or genre, with which she has a problem because in fact she is a really good collaborator. She only comes up in these judging sessions as the fall guy, so it seems like she's not doing anything.

Next under the microscope is My Ridiculous, who designed a lackluster track around a song he thought was stupid from go.

The girls chuck Brian's ass instantly, in a blinding flurry of treachery.

Jewel: "Do you also hate Jackie? Because a little birdie told me everybody hates Jackie."
Brian: "I work well with Jackie. Except for how we keep fucking up."
Jewel: "Jackie, you keep ending up in the B3."
Jackie: "Yeah, and I keep ending up on top in the hook challenges."
Jewel: "So what you're saying is you come up with good ideas and the squander them."

Well, but maybe that's a failing of the show, because the Top Hookers/Team Captains get grilled for the finished product every week, which in terms of leadership makes sense but also gives the other chosen teammembers an umbrella to hide under. A real collaborative effort means everybody is there doing their best. I don't know that Top Hooker should really be seen as a leader in any real sense for the purposes of this final judging.

On the other hand, that means the person who opts out of the losing team each week -- Blessing, Karen in some ways, this week My Ridiculous -- should automatically leave. Which is a problem because... No, that's not a problem. That sounds right to me. In theory. But honestly, I like all three of these dudes and I feel like Jackie's shitty concept shouldn't have won Top Hooker in the first place, because it was setting this team up to fail no matter what, despite having some of the most talented musicians in it. If any other hook had won, you see what I'm saying, we wouldn't be having this discussion. These three people would be on other teams, or even on the same team, dealing with a different hook.

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Platinum Hit




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