Johnny: (Silent and appalled and still blinking at them like Nermal; unable to swear because for real Nick is right. They stare back. The Nermal is not working great.)
Nick: (May have pulled this one off!)
Kara: "Johnny, how is it though that you, of all people, failed to write a Gavin DeGraw song?"
Johnny: "I'm going to stick with, it's because Nick is mean."
(He does a horrific impression of Nick that proves nothing.)
Keith, verbatim: "This song was a lyrical cesspool."
Jewel: "Just keep in mind we are judging you guys on this song, not the spell Johnny has cast on us in previous weeks."
Johnny: "Okay, I hear you. But if I could just bring up the spell I've cast on you in previous weeks..."
Kara: "Oh, girl."
The screaming continues and they are both unattractive persons.
Kara: "This is fucking ridiculous. Ego is the antithesis of creativity."
The judges are so wonderful right now. I love this show so much. I want to have a dinner party with Jewel and Kara and Keith and Kidd. Well, what I want is to be married to Keith Naftaly, primarily, and then we can have the other ones over for dinner any old time. Kara on a bottle of Chianti has got to be the most thrilling thing in the universe.
Jewel: "Both your asses should get kicked off."
Judges: "Yeah, for real."
Kara: "Your careers may well suffer for this bullshit. You have shown us your ugliest sides. I am physically revolted by what is happening here. I want to be done."
Jewel: "Honestly, we have to figure out which of you fucked this up worse. I have no idea what is going to happen here. I am just... Just disappointed, honestly. You have made us sad."
I mean... It's not even Bravo Trainwreck good, which would be fine: It's regular good. They are being normal people on their worst day, and you've got these genius professionals who are mentoring them and turning the whole thing back into class again by explaining why this is disappointing. You know? The harsh truth about what it actually takes, and how you're not allowed to have bad days in public. That a work ethic involves getting and keeping your shit under control as much as it involves being creative in the first place.
PLUS, JOHNNY CRYING. CRYING IN HIS GAVIN DEGRAW HAT.