Platinum Hit
Somebody Is Lying

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Somebody Is Lying & It Is Everybody
Brian & Sonyae: "Beyoncé. Black girls can only sing Beyoncé songs. So Beyoncé."
Jewel: "You n00bs do not disappoint."

For Jewel's next genre -- I was thinking about this hardcore last night -- I think it should be like that magical Misty Mountain thing of Jethro Tull or Donovan or "Stairway To Heaven." With the flutes? And you can see Arthur Rackham elves peeking at you around trees when you hear it. It's been my personal plan to become the next Stevie Nicks, but I guess Jewel would be good too. All I know is that someone has got to stop Joanna Newsom.

Nick: "Johnny, the fact that we despise each other doesn't mean we can't collaborate. How about bygones."
Johnny, in his stupid red jeans: "I will attempt and fail to meet your challenge."

Johnny, fucking verbatim: "But it's that sunrises are cool, something romantic to watch. And the idea of somebody being an all-day-long sunrise."
Nick: (Sings a pretty song with this queerdong shaved-vagina idea that actually fits the genre of Gavin.)
Johnny: (Bitches about this because he can't hear the Gavin on the other side of the Nick because A) he is on that emotional level and B) he lives life at one remove.)

Sonyae & Brian: [No idea.]

Jes & Scotty: "We wish Jes was black and we are working on that process. It's going poorly."

Johnny: "I am completely unable to meet you halfway, even though you're being totally smart and mature and writing a killer song for me, just like every week when you collaborate. I am more interested in performing my superiority and the hassle of working with you than actually experiencing the complete non-hassle of working with you."
Nick: "Nobody's ever been more of a sniveling bitch than me, in my life! It's sort of eye-opening. Is this how I appear to others? Quite the mindfuck."


Sonyae: "Brian keeps playing instruments because he can play instruments, which are conventionally thought of as being part of a song, whereas I am more gifted at writing nonsensical lyrics and cannot play any instruments, because it would interfere with screaming my ass off all the time. Rather than seeing this as a good team dynamic, I am going to say that Brian is quite lucky to have me. And my nonsense."
My Ridiculous: (Keeps that pretty head down; does not fuss nor does he particularly toil. I hope they win.)

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Platinum Hit




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