Judges: "Wuornos over there, how about you?"Melissa: "There are so many reasons."
Ryan Tedder: (Finally realizes this bitch is for real! His eyes get so wide!)
Judges: "Okay but like what are they?"Melissa: "I feel like it would be mean to tell you."
Kara: "You have an amazing opportunity to show your talent. Just handed to you, this show. Despite the mental health background check. You could really be using this opportunity to show what you're brilliant at."Jekyll again: "I don't need to show you a damn thing."Kara: (Checks the fuck out, finally.)
Jewel: "Melissa and Jes, it could not be clearer what's going to happen here, but let's go through the empty exercise of sending you both backstage."Jackie: "Jes, are you okay? You look like you're dying."Johnny: "Is it our baby? Is the baby okay?"Jes: "I think I have Epstein-Barr Disease or something with gluten. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome maybe."Johnny: "Chronic, whaaaaaat!"
What follows is an Easter Egg hunt of sorts, as Jes tosses herself around the room demanding attention and sucking the air out from all over the place, followed by Johnny who keeps trying to curl up inside her shirt and suck his thumb, like he imagines a boyfriend would do, but because this is the first opinion she's ever had she's actually working herself up to quite a lather, so she keeps shrugging his grody touch-attacks and flailing around the room, and it goes on forever and it's so awesome.
Scotty: "Well, I'm bored of that. Melissa, we've all worked with you so we know you're the worst. None of us has missed out on your charms. Therefore, why do you think any of us would side with you? What do you bring to the table, ever?"Melissa, verbatim: "Scotty, I'm not going to respond to your ridiculous questions."Scotty: "How is that ridiculous? Everybody else here is working their asses off and talking about themselves constantly, and yet you get to have this mysterious reason for being here that nobody's allowed to know about, and you are accomplishing this agenda in these mysterious ways that nobody's allowed to know about, and it's bullshit."