Melissa: "[I honestly could not understand this part because of her stupid made-up affected babytalking.]"

Something about starting a band with Blessing, I think. God, what an awful fucking idea. That's sort of ingenious. They could do covers of "Somewhere Only We Know" and "Mother Mother (Everything's Fine)" and she'd play the spoons or the didge and crack weird jokes between songs that nobody understands and the punchline's always "What Paxil subscription?," like, that's the catchphrase that doesn't even mean anything but she's so proud of it.

Melissa: "How many lightbulbs does it take to undo the weird zapping feeling under my scalp?"
Crowd: "How! Many!"
Melissa: "What Paxil subscription?"
Crowd: "...What?"
Melissa: "But seriously folks, have you ever really licked a window?"

Melissa: "My old man Mistah J got tossed back in Arkham last week and I'm writing a song to deal with my feelings about it. It's called 'Love Me In A Minute' and it's about how I wish a man would touch me."
Crowd: "Wait, you're dating the Joker?"
Melissa: "What Paxil subscription?"

And she drops the mic and walks offstage, convinced she can't do anything more awesome than that joke that only she understood. They loved me, she thinks. They loved me to life.

Next week: Busking, which will probably be a bloodbath; presumably we'll see yet more of Jewel regulating; Imaginary Hipster Baby turns out to be Imaginary Hipster Twins and Johnny is secretly a twin with John Mayer and Jes is a triplet with Amber and this other random girl with Feist bangs, and it turns out their parents are also twins and then they all have a bunch of twins and they start a circus and they don't even live in Brooklyn anymore, they live in Washington Heights, and then Melissa shows up dressed as an old crone selling apples and she steals the babies. All of them. And then Nevin sings for them. All in one hour this happens.