Platinum Hit
The L Word

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Sprout & The Mean

Jackie reads lyrics that sound like word salad. Johnny points out that their song makes no sense and is full of infinite pronouns and causal regressions and the person is his own grandmother. Jackie says some crazy talk about I don't know what, and Nick checks out completely. There's a montage of Jackie talking, talking, talking forever and ever. Nick finds this unacceptable. They are shitty to each other. Nick thinks about killing himself. Johnny doesn't urge him on, because Johnny is a disappointment in many ways. I don't think it would be that hard. He's got like French amounts of turmoil in there.


After the performances, the winning team will have one person win immunity for next week. I think Jewel is just making things up at this point. Next week it's going to be the Top Hooker gets to pick who goes home and then they go home. And then everybody else has to write a song about it. In a genre the person picks. And they all have to use the Top Hooker's hook. And then the judges would somehow find a way to complain about it. All I know is, I wish the old A&R person would come back because I'm ashamed and confused by my feelings toward the new guy. (Kevin? Keith? Naftaly.) You're not allowed even to like an A&R guy, but I sort of want to marry this one. He is very special in some way. Maybe... Well, he was in radio. Maybe I'm responding to some imperceptible Ryan Seacrest thing, and that's all it is. It hasn't gotten to the point yet with Seacrest where I see him turning a street corner and go running off and calling his name and then it's nobody, or a short lesbian, but I can see it getting there. I miss him more and more, rather than less and less. Maybe Keith Naftaly is just that lesbian. The lesbian I need right now.

Nick: "Clearly that will be me that wins the thing you were talking about before a random radio reference caused Ryan Seacrest to obliterate your mind."

The one week he's not the king of the collabo, they throw in this twist. He's going to be so bitter! (How will we tell?)

Brian-Sonyae-Scott: Continue to be amazing.
Jackie-Johnny-Nick: Can't even explain what their song is about at this point.

Jes: "I came back to life, and I'm wasting the shit out of it by worrying if Johnny will like the song I wrote about him."
Johnny: "I guarantee that a song about me will be liked by me."
Jes & Johnny: "We guarantee that schmoople shmozzle schnicklefrits. Put your face on my face. We were not popular in high school and missed out on some basic experiences."

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Platinum Hit




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