In an obsolete marketplace whose corruption continues to grow in response to failing profit models, having made back the leveraged original sum of money they were given and -- having landed back at zero -- stunned to find that there is no more money coming, they will be forced to watch as their unicorn finally dies in the music section of a nearby Walmart.
Within six months, the bones of the unicorn will be used as found objects in the creation of brain-dead collisions of noise and repetitive jargon by the Black Eyed Peas. We will all pretend the unicorn is alive. We will not know the difference. At this time, Contestant will return to the beginning of the gauntlet and begin again with a fresh unicorn.
THE THROWING OF THE GAUNTLET
Sonyae, Scotty, Jes: "I like writing songs! Let's write some songs!"
Jewel: "Over the ten episodes of this show, Sonyae has risen to the challenge and won everything effortlessly, Scotty has combined three or four clever tricks with seriously deranged lyricism, and Jes has flown under the radar impressively. Let's see what happens next!"
In the Morning: Everybody is adorable.
Jes: "I've been waiting for an opportunity for a long time. I assume if this doesn't go my way, I can continue to wait around for other opportunities to land in my lap. This is what it is to be an artist."
Jewel & Kara: "We need champagne to deal with you guys. Let's all drink first thing in the morning. Who do you think should win?"
Sonyae: "Anybody but Jes."
Jewel: "More champagne?"
Jes: "I am better than these other two. Don't tell anybody, it's a secret."
Jewel: "The final challenge on this songwriting show is to write a song."
Contestants: "That is genius."
Jewel: "You'll be working with some producer who you guys know."
Contestants: "That is a very exciting person!"
Sonyae, sic of course: "I'm ready to show out."