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The Winner Takes It All

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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The Song of Your Life

PERFORMANCES

At the finale judging is everybody! Johnny looks so beautiful! Brian is wearing a sexy man sweater! Jackie! Look, it's Jackie! It's so nice to see everybody. Melissa is there, and she seems to be totally under control. Also, all the parents are there. Most incredibly is Scotty's Dad, sitting next to his boyfriend in the audience. Scotty has a good relationship with his future that makes me feel good about my future.

Kara is there, and Leona Lewis in her usual attire. Keith Naftaly. I doubt much that after tonight I will ever have occasion to look at or think about Keith Naftaly, which is a shame because he brightens up my week more than anything has all summer. What a delight he is.

"Come Alive" is the song. There's a pre-chorus that puts you to sleep and makes Keith make funny faces, and then the chorus comes in with a lot of lights and kind of desperation. Jackie adorably cheers her on, and some people are important in the audience but probably I forgot who they are already. Johnny and Leona make the same face that says basically, "I am thinking about you a little bit but mostly I'm still thinking about me." The song never does what it says in the title, but considering it's Jes's first song it's pretty exciting anyway; her dad cries, which is amazing.

Scotty: "Jes may have proved why she's here, possibly. Time to kill the other bitches."

"Beautiful You," which combines all of Scotty's features, between the joy of watching him perform and play the piano and be adorable and on the other hand hearing him sing a song that sounds like a Scotty song produced by RJ Whatever. It's kind of amazing how it sounds just like Jes's song, but way better. I wonder if Sonyae's will follow suit.

Sonyae's song "My Religion" is pretty awesome from the jump, I don't know if you were expecting that having seen the whole show where she's always the best one, but that's what happens. Even Kara forgets to hate her for being a woman, and Scotty gets hives almost immediately. RJ is proud of himself, as he should be, and Sonyae is as usual hypnotic to watch and hear.

Jes: "I consider the commerciality of my song to be of supreme importance. It's shallower, which I told would be a good thing. Of course, I am operating at a disadvantage of being less shallow and more self-conscious to begin with, whereas Sonyae is more like a tuning fork or satellite dish that consumes culture and spits it out in new and timely forms. However, the leap of faith that caused me to consider other people's input as more important than my own voice felt a lot like hard work."

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Platinum Hit

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