Anyway. Similarly impressed -- not to say shocked -- with herself is Sonyae, who can't believe how great she is at most things. Then a blonde overbite named Karen comes in and, in what context we don't know, tells Sonyae that she's a Southern Girl. This causes a sort of record-screeching reaction that we'll have to see how it plays out.

Blessing comes in with his dog and compliments Sonyae on her name -- which, coming from a person named Blessing -- and says also it is sexy. That's weird, and also he is blind, so they all talk about his dog.

Johnny is sort of the Miles: He does computer stuff in the daytime and then at night it seems he is a John Mayer impersonator. I change my vote for Coincidental Love-Faller. It is clearly Johnny who will be coincidentally falling in love with one of the boring girls with bangs.

Oh, here she is now: Jes is what Jackie would most like to be, and will be the slightly vague, good-hearted Dream Girl that whichever guy falls in love over the course of the three weeks or whatever will fall in love with. She describes herself as "quirky" but seems likeably boring instead.

Johnny, meet Jes. Enjoy being in love slash not being a homosexual. I'm sure those guys back in high school will change their tune now. He decides to be in love with her before he even sees the rest of the talent, is how intent he is on making this happen. Lucky, lucky girl.

Jewel comes out and waits for them to recognize her but they don't recognize her so she tells them who she is and then shaves her legs and sings about it and they finally recognize her. Then she explains what a Grammy Museum is, and why they are standing in one.

The rules of this show are like this. First they will each write a hook, and she smarms and explains what that word means just in case they don't know what that word means, and then second they will turn that hook into a song. Then they will win money and also the right to get screwed right in the butthole by RCA.

HOOK CHALLENGE

Okay, if you need a refresher on how this works: First they will write part of a song, and then they will write a song. That's how it's going down. But the hook part is only half an hour, and in this case it has to be about the City of Angels, and so everybody looks worried except for the guy Nick -- mohawk, eyeliner, insufferable -- who hates Jackie already. The second Snagglepuss stops talking about how they only have half an hour he raises his hand and yells, "Done!"