Jackie hugs a lady and works the crowd, everybody avoids Nick because obviously you can tell, everybody on the entire boardwalk wants to fuck Johnny, even the randoms new to this scene are somehow glad that Melissa is gone, Brian still loves tits and stalking, Jes can barely remember her own name so how are they supposed to, Sonyae is ten pounds of crazy in a five-pound bra, and it's like: Did we really have to go to Ventura Beach to know this stuff? Check in with America? Can America possibly tell us what our own eyeholes and earholes are telling us? Did we really have to take this Jewel-less risk? When it's just as likely that Kara will leave them there to find their way back?

TOP HOOKERS

14% of the money -- the third-place person -- is Jes! That's exciting. Kara tells her that it was not hooky and it was meandering, but that essentially a cute girl acting desperate is always good for about 14% of the take. 27% went to Johnny, because he is sentimental and user-friendly in his emotional settings and because he is adorable and because the lowest common denominator is his deal. But 43% of all the money! Went to Jackie! Because she is the best performer on the show by one hundred, but not the best songwriter, so it sucks how this is a show about the second thing.

I wonder honestly if Jackie thought to herself, well, this happens every week. Every week I am the best hooker, and every week the songwriting thing gets me so weird I act coked up and it all dissolves into a congealing mess. I wonder if she thought about that, don't you? Like maybe changing it up or doing things differently this week. And if so, then did she fold that idea up and put it back in the drawer, and just go back to her traditional stratagem of getting ADD and running around the room in a cape until she passes out.

Jackie chooses Scotty for her team, and Johnny it's so embarrassing I don't even want to talk about it. Brian, he chooses Brian. Jes looks at Nick and looks at Sonyae and thinks about how Nick is the worst human, but that Sonyae has immunity so your choices are either to go home or actually try. Scotty tells Jackie to take Sonyae because she's the best, and Nick loves it because he hates women and now Jackie has two on her team so she'll probably be leaving.