Brian: "You're in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down and you see a tortoise. It's crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on its back. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping. Why is that?"
Johnny: "..."
Sonyae: "..."
Nick: "Because turtles suck. They are not punk rock. They're just turtles. Fuck that turtle. I hate that turtle more than I hate Jackie. Unless Jackie hates the turtle, and then it is my friend. Unshakeable ideology is the privilege of the young and the damaged. It's okay to only have one dimension if that dimension is 100% ass horrible."

JUDGING

Jewel: "Everybody but Jes and Nick, come to the stage."
Jes: "Goddammit. Or not, depending on whatever Jewel decides are the rules this week."

Johnny: "I love writing with Brian. I love having an apartment to myself where he can't come, though, too."
Brian: "Johnny and I have so much in common, such as we both want to get married immediately to the next girl we date. Or rollercoaster."
Jes: "That's so silly! (I hope he means it.)"
Johnny: "Yes, we are really zeroing in on masculinity. As a team. I think getting married at whatever baby age I am is a totally valid way to prove my point, whatever it is."

Sonyae: "I didn't worry about my immunity this week, I wanted to prove I didn't care and go even harder and go even bonkerser."
Jackie: "Scotty wanted Country, so did I, so we picked it."
Judges: (All they can think is Don't think about elephants about how Scotty and Sonyae are totally black; they all know Kara's the only one who will actually say it.)

Scotty: "I like the idea of 'Say It Back' because it's about saying it back."
Jewel: "Good point. But Johnny won this week again with that annoying song."

This is how you end up with Johnny. This kind of thing happening over and over.

Kara: (Reads the lyrics aloud; always weird to watch.)
Keith: (Is adorable; loves this song more than any other song so far.)
Bonnie: "You remind me of Jason Mraz. He's so relevant and cool. That's my paradigm."