Platinum Hit
We Are Risk Takers

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
You Don't Have To Say You Love Me

Luckily Sonyae is already completely bonkers, so she doesn't really care that much and just goes for it, but it's nice to see her given pause just this one time.

Jackie plays her hook, still wearing the dumb hat, and the hook is about how one time she told her boyfriend she loved him first, which I guess is a risk. (If you were to do something like that, which you should not.) At least at this point she giggles with some little girls and makes fun of her own hat, which makes up for it. At the end of the song, the clever Jackie twist is that she tells the crowd she loves us and they have to say it back -- which Scotty realizes is a great way to squeeze them for more money.

Scotty's hook sounds like a Scott song -- only, you know, riskier -- and Kara pulls out her moleskine and asks a rando if he would like to hear the Scotty song on the radio and the guy's like, "I can imagine it being played on the radio," but what he doesn't know is that Scotty is already a Pandora radio, set to Beyoncé singing Ryan Tedder songs and then branching out from there. I don't know what his risk was, maybe too much Voguing.

Jes, while pre-hooking, told us all about how she might actually do something this week, but even she didn't seem that convinced. In the performance we see she has gone the full Feist, with some unappealing glasses to go with her unappealing Regina Spektor song about escaping while the roof is caving in. I guess the risk here has to do with living in a house with a structurally unsound roof. Or the importance of an exit plan.

Sonyae scares the piss out of all the bystanding innocents with her yelling song. I guess the risk is people finding out she is bonkers. She stares this risk fiercely in the face; she does not back down from it.

Johnny's hook is titled "Bettin' My Life On You," so I guess the point is that Johnny does not mind avoiding risks of all kinds. The risk is that, he's betting his life on nobody noticing he's merely a very good copy of a human being without a human emotion inside it, and then call a bladerunner on him, so he shows you all the fake emotions right up front, like, hands dripping with jewels, only instead of jewels it's total 100% heterosexual love, and thereby all risks are neutralized.

Nick reminisces, of course, about how he left home at five years of age to be this incredibly talented, unduly sullen child-busker and has been annoying everybody ever since, and then sings like he's got a dick in him. The song is called "Risky Business" and the theme is "fake angry." I think the risk is somebody sees past his BS into the abyss of his own self-loathing and feel terrible for him, being so young and so clichéd at the same time. Risky business indeed!

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Platinum Hit




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