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Wheels Up

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Sordid Hipsters Of America

Kara: "Jackie, you wrote a good hook that had potential but you didn't drive it home. Get it? 'Drive'?"
Kara, essentially: "Karen, for a girl from Nashville you are not a great lyrical songwriter. I think that you may be illiterate, but mostly I think it's just because you're incredibly boring and seem to have a stake in staying that way."
Karen: "But I can make biscuits!"

Jackie's safe, of course.

It'll be sad to see Karen go because she's cute and has a voice, but yeah. Being a cliché machine is something you can do after you're successful. I guess she didn't make it easy enough to love her. I guess the onus was on her this time, and the biscuits weren't enough.

And Nick? Crying his guts out and whispering helpful words in her ear before she goes. What a mixed bag he is, our Nick. You think he's gonna zig, he zags. I wish there was a challenge where they were like, "Nick, just for like one minute act how you actually are. This bizarre sine wave chaos of personalities is really bewildering. The onus is on you to be one human person for a contiguous period of time."

Next week: Reality show fighting, more gross hipster-smushing, and most skin-crawlingly of all, the one I've been fearing since this show was announced, yes, they're all going to be rapping. So yeah.

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Platinum Hit

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