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Wheels Up

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Sordid Hipsters Of America

But for real, why put all that time and energy into a meaningless rehearsal of something that you could actually be doing? And knowing that if you looked them in the eye and explained this, they wouldn't even argue. They would just think that you hate love and you hate romance -- not that you're just demonstrating proper respect for a very large and dangerous animal that gives life its meaning -- and go on waiting for the bluebirds and high-fives and tickertape parades due a young man who has accomplished love, and requiring everyone in a five-mile radius to validate it, because without an audience it isn't real. So it stands to reason that with a Bravo audience, even for a mid-list show like this, it's even realer. Right?

SONG TIME

We're painting the studio with amazing again this week, not on the road like you might think given last week's club outing, and we're in the company of Keith Naftaly, A&R for Jive. He seems like a sweet dad of a guy, but you don't ever trust A&R. We're also joined by Natasha Bedingfield, which is exciting for Amber because she is their kind of a singer. I hope she does something adorable!

Jackie-Sonyae-Jackie-Karen head up first to sing their song, "The Road Is Where My Heart Is." Nick points out that his group wins every time and hopefully will win this week. I do too, although I'm more excited to hear Johnny's one. It's got pretty good lyrics, this song, and pretty harmonies, and though the chorus is maybe walking the line between catchy and hacky, the judges seem to be into it. The Etheridge-y bridge takes full advantage of the ladies' great voices, and puts Jackie in the middle like it should, then finishes off with a sweet little Nick arpeggio thing.

Melissa-Amber-Jes do their little hat-wearing ditty "Home For Me," piano-centered with a very Tedder bass drum in the back that might mean points off because of adding production to the songwriting. The melody is prettier and the song overall has a lot more personality, but the judges look bored and Amber seems to be terrified the entire time. Jewel loves Jes's beautiful voice, and Natasha seems to be indulging them with a smile in the boring end of the song. Nick makes mean faces; Jackie thinks it's wrong for a road trip because it's so girly/singer-songwritery. Which maybe that's true, although there are lots of different kinds of road trips, but either way is a weak criticism because it was a good song. Jackie's talking-heads are weird this week. I think she/her team might be in trouble.

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