Platinum Hit
Wheels Up

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Sordid Hipsters Of America

Bros bring a whole lot of intensity to it, particularly Johnny and his great voice backed up with some really gorgeous harmonies from the other two. Brian does weird hand gestures the entire time that are embarrassing in the way he always is embarrassing, but the judges are plainly in love with it. The other guys don't clap too much, and Nick talks a bunch of bitchy shit surprisingly enough, and they all go away so Jewel can discuss them behind their back.

Outside, Nick lectures everybody about how important lyrics are, and Johnny starts shit with him and the whole conversation is pretty boring, and they say some mad crap to each other about how lyrics + melody + whatever can make a song "sound like a poem" and honestly maybe somebody was making an interesting point but I sort of just blocked the whole thing out. There's a reason writers don't talk to each other unless forced. I'm pretty sure Johnny is right, except nobody wins when you have that conversation, especially when it's Nick. Choices you made put you in that situation.

JUDGING

Jewel describes the winning song as a "perfect blend of melody, structure and lyrics," which means Team Johnny, and then of course they win. Nick and Jackie are both bummed out, but Girlysounds over there on the couch are pretty happy for them. Nick yawns, and then even harder once the A&R guy asks them to sing the first lyric again -- embarrassing -- and Natasha spins them a little poem herself about how it's not only about a road trip, but like, about life.

So it's Team Jackie and Team Jes that are left. Girlysounds goes up first and we remember the haunting harmonies of their song. Jewel congrajewelates them on improvement over last week, but notes that Team Jackie wasn't quite as great as the other one. So that means Sonyae, Jackie, Karen and Nick are the ones in trouble. Which bites, because I don't particularly want any of them to go. I don't know who should go. My heart says Nick but I know that would suck, and it's not even worth hating Brian because ass is toast soon enough. He's basically the male Karen.

Kara loved Jes's song, because it's something she would write; Natasha says she would honestly sing that song. A&R guy is amazed by that "gush," but didn't really love the hook -- more the arrangements. Nobody mentions the drum, which was the second-best part. They run out and everybody hugs everybody and the cameras linger on guess who.

So who's left? Jackie's not going anywhere, and we still haven't seen where Karen is actually at except for her dumbass lyrics, and then there's Nick who provides the villain structure of the show. Versus Sonyae, who did nothing this week that we know of, but always seems to do important things the camera doesn't catch.

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Platinum Hit

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