After a quick recap of the pilot, Episode 2 begins with some totally awesome, over-the-top shots of fast-moving clouds and the stupid Biohazard symbol rendered in flames -- you know, the standard type of imagery that tells us we're about to watch something that's at least going to try to be scary. The best part? What looks like a human figure hanging from something in the midst of towering flames. It's even slightly spooky, until it segues into a shot of the Kramers' fireplace, and all I can think is that they should probably call a chimney sweep if they've got dead people hanging in their fireplace.
It's dinner time, and Meg is fondly reminiscing about how Judy used to eat "only orange things." Maybe Marti thinks that by obliquely referencing someone creepy like Billy Bob Thornton, her show will take on an added sinister coolness. Um, Marti? No. Sorry. Judy rolls her eyes and says, "Don't you love when your mom just talks about you like that?" Then she freezes because she remembers that Christina doesn't have a mom. This reminds Dr. Ben that he still wants to speak to Christina's father but hasn't heard from him. Christina puts on a brave World's Saddest Daughter smile as she says, "Yeah, I called him a few times too. Guess he's really busy." Of course, she's lying through her teeth, since she doesn't want her father to know where she is. But then, what do you expect? She's Satan's daughter, right?
Hey, where did that dog come from? Suddenly there's a dog named Duke in the kitchen, even though we've never seen him before and Christina's already been here for at least two days. Duke is making Christina nervous as he keeps growling at her. Or maybe she's so jumpy because the parents are threatening to make her participate in some sort of dorky boat parade that's supposed to celebrate Heritage Week. Given a choice between a growling dog and a small-town parade, I'd probably take my chances with the dog. But that's just me. Oh, come on. I'm not being overly cynical. Meg says she's psyched to win first prize in the boat parade contest, but even she can't be arsed to put any enthusiasm into it. And she's an actress. She wants Judy to play the Sea Maiden, whatever that is, but Judy is less than thrilled with the prospect. When he sees that growling isn't getting him anywhere, Duke starts barking. Dr. Ben puts him outside, as Meg says, "[Duke is] usually so good with people." Way to make Christina self-conscious. Do you think that's really a good idea, Meg? To add injury to insult, Meg tells Christina she's expected to attend the town clambake. Jesus. And Christina still wants to stay with this family?