Down at the docks, Christina walks past Amber and Paula's boat and looks up to see Ribcage, Paula, and Jesse all watching her. Guess which one of the three doesn't stare at her nastily. Still, she looks almost disappointed to be joining those nice Kramers on their boat. Come on, Christina. Where's your Heritage Week spirit?
Meg is really getting into the festivities. She sneaks up on Dr. Ben and suggests that they make a date for sex. The exciting, spontaneous event will take place tomorrow evening. Mark your calendars, y'all.
Judy encounters her parents kissing and is so happy about it that she volunteers to do that Sea Maiden thing that's so important to her mom, as long as she gets to be a "fully-clothed goth sea chick." Yeah, I am so buying you as a goth, Judy. Meg, obviously feeling less stressed from just the very thought of sex, let alone actually doing it, relents and tells Judy she doesn't have to bother. Instead she nominates Christina, who looks slightly alarmed at the prospect of growing ever closer to taking the place of Dead Isabelle in Meg's mind. Judy looks a little hurt by this. Hey, I would be too.
Amber is back for another kick at the Melrose Jake bucket. Dammit! She's already been turned down once this week. What does a girl have to do to get laid in this town? She pretends that she came by to invite Jake to her annual Heritage Week party, the one that "gets pretty wild." Jake sarcastically says, "Not skinny-dipping," to which Amber replies, "Stranger things." Okay, I've been lied to before by these characters when they tried to pass off that stupid bonfire as something "pagan," so you'll have to excuse me if I'm skeptical. Jake earns my lifelong devotion when he asks Amber if she was planning on them having sex "now or later." She tries to play it off with a seductive little laugh, but Jake's not done. First he calls her old, and then he goes on to describe her as "fading prom queen," and tells her that she's boring and predictable. I can't say I'd recommend that as a good pick-up line, but I bet that, ultimately, it will work on Amber. That makes me kind of sad.
Oh, it's another scene with Jesse and Christina. That makes me kind of bored. He wants to know how it went at the church. Christina wants to know how he found out about her going to the church. Jesse explains that Judy's nickname is The Mouth. Yeah, that Judy sounds more and more like a rebel every second. Christina has finally figured out that Father Dumb-ass was hiding something from her. Jesse mentions that his mother works at the church. Christina smiles up at him coyly.