Ah, good. It's Amber. At least she's entertaining. Sort of. Hey, don't knock that. It's the scenes with Amber and Melrose Jake that are keeping me sane throughout all the tedious teen relationship crap. And I'm not just saying that because I'm in my thirties. Amber is up on all the latest man-related gossip as she tells Meg and Jesse's mom about the rich guy who just moved into the Anderson mansion. She suggests a field trip, all Witches of Eastwick-style, to check him out. Jesse's mom agrees, but Meg has to go visit her dead daughter's memorial. Okay, like, she can't do that some other time? I don't think Dead Isabelle is exactly keeping track of the days of the week anymore, you know? Jesse's mom says it's nice to see Meg "out and looking so well."
Ribcage is talking to Paula, who is worried that Christina is going to steal her precious boyfriend. When Ribcage attempts to reassure her that Jesse wouldn't cheat on her, Paula tries to make him feel bad about sleeping with her. I think it's kind of funny that Ribcage throws the responsibility right back on her. It's even funnier when he claims that neither he nor Paula are good enough for Jesse -- like Jesse's really cool and not just some boring dude who has trouble making conversation. Ribcage tries to kiss Paula, but she pulls away, saying, "Jesse takes care of me. What have you done for me lately?" Way to turn sex into a transaction, dear.
Oh, look -- it's an aerial view of Point Pleasant, and it looks nothing like any part of the Jersey shore that I recall. I wonder if this is supposed to be what the devil sees as he flies over the town. You know, like on his broomstick, or whatever. It's SatanCam!
Christina is back at her mother's church in Ocean Grove, watching some workmen repairing the stained glass window that the CGI mystery bugs flew to kill Harland last time. Man, that flashback doesn't even do justice to how poorly done those insects were. Christina's reverie is interrupted by a young priest who informs her that the window was two hundred years old. Christina has the grace to look a little guilty. She asks if anyone was hurt when it broke. That's a pretty weird question when you stop to think about it. I mean, when was the least time you saw statistics on how many people are killed in stained glass window accidents each year? The priest is totally unaware of Harland's death, which makes me wonder how his body disappeared. Christina's certainly not going to mention him. She jumps right to the topic of her grandfather, who used to be the groundskeeper. Young Priest says he will look through some church records for her.