Point Pleasant
Human Nature

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Human Nature
Inside the church office, he tells her that Groundskeeper Willie, or whatever his real name is, was with the church for twenty-three years and that his daughter's name was Anne. Then he gets silent and weird as he's reading another piece of paper. Christina tries to draw more information from him, but all he will tell her is that her grandparents moved in 1987, which turns out to be the year Christina was born. Even though the priest is lying exceptionally poorly, Christina believes him. Jeez, even for someone relatively young, she seems shockingly gullible. This impression is strengthened when she asks the priest if he believes it's possible for someone to be cursed. He looks nervously down at the papers he's holding and doesn't even try to answer. How reassuring.

Amber and Sarah, Jesse's mom, have made good on their promise to visit Melrose Jake in his new abode. The house is filled with construction workers who are quietly shifting plywood pieces around in an effort to look busy but not create any audible background noise that would get in the way of the stupid dialogue. Amber is being extremely friendly, but it is Sarah that Jake wants to talk to once he learns that she works in the church. He suggests a tour and offers her his arm while Amber looks totally put out.

Back in the church, Christina tentatively speaks about the telekinetic abilities she thinks she has. The priest cuts her off to reassure that it's all just a coincidence. He also pretends not to understand what the Biohazard symbol is when she draws it out for him. He couldn't be less convincing, but Christina still continues to trust him with her confessions, telling him that sometimes she likes it when these bad things happen to people because of her. Obviously not one to take his priestly duties very seriously, this guy just fobs her off on God. Nice work passing the buck there.

Meg is putting flowers on her daughter's grave when she notices a dead crow a few feet away. She starts looking around and realizes she's surrounded by dead crows that definitely weren't there when she arrived. Hmm, maybe Christina just doesn't like birds. Or Meg needs to switch to a stronger deodorant.

Right before the commercial break, the young priest walks into some old priest's office and solemnly intones, "It's starting." The old priest just looks annoyed to be interrupted while he's trying to solve the Daily Jumble.

He doesn't have a whole lot of use for the younger man's apocalyptic theories either, even though they were all made up by the founder of the congregation, Father Jeffrey. What a prankster! He used to concoct interesting stories about a young girl coming to Point Pleasant and bringing on The End of Days. And the whole congregation would laugh and laugh whenever he put that whoopee cushion on the organist's bench. The old priest is evidently not a fan, though, and he tries to discourage the younger man, Father Tomas, from believing in the prophecies, especially since none of them were ever backed up by the Bible. Father Tomas -- which almost rhymes with Father Dumb-ass -- insists that this is all "evidence," not "superstition." I guess we should be grateful he went into the ministry and not law.

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Point Pleasant

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