Paula has chosen a costume for Jesse to wear on the boat, in keeping with their pirate theme. She mentions that she's glad her mother won't make them wear their costumes to her "wild" party. This gives Jesse the opening he needs to tell Paula he might not make it to the party since he has to help his mother by bringing boxes to the church. Right, and that would take all night. Besides, it's an outright lie. And we always thought of Jesse as this sort of pure and innocent and slightly boring guy. Well, now we know that two of those descriptors are no longer valid.
Over in Ocean Grove, Jesse and Christina sneak into Father Dumb-ass's office and start going through his stuff. Christina reads something from a folder and turns away in shock. It takes dull Jesse forever and a day to read the same thing, but finally they piece together that not only was Christina's mother, Anne, pregnant; she was also a virgin. The entire family left town the year Christina was born. Before she can piece things together for Jesse, they hear approaching footsteps. That's what the closed captioning says, anyway. In our household, we were still laughing much too hard to hear anyone's footsteps.
Hey there, Father Dumb-ass. What are you doing down at the office so late? I'll bet you're here to read up some more on Christina and her immaculate conception. Am I right? I thought so. In order to buy them some escape time, Christina uses her powers to distract Father Dumb-ass by making all the other doors in the church slam shut. No, I'm not sure why all the other doors in the church were open when this one was locked, but I don't suggest you waste much thought on it. God knows, I'm not. When Father Dumb-ass enters the office he sees that someone has gone through his stuff. I'm guessing he suspects Christina.
Jesse and Christina are driving back to Point Pleasant while trying to process the information they just acquired. Jesse suggests that Christina's mother faked being a virgin. Christina doesn't call him stupid but you can tell she wants to. Oh, wait -- that's me who wants to do that.