Point Pleasant
Human Nature

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Human Nature
Ooh, more SatanCam! How lovely. Personally, I find the beach so much more attractive than the cast.

It's daytime, and Father David is creeping into some long-deserted part of the church where dust coats everything and there are cobwebs all around. He bends down to gaze at what looks like an angel statue and then recoils in horror when it turns out to have horns and an evil gargoyle face. He notices that there is a stone loose on the floor, so he bends down to pull it up. Underneath he finds another stone, this one sporting the Biohazard symbol. He also finds an old leather-bound book wrapped in cloth. Hey, I'll bet that's Father Jeffrey's book of cocktail recipes and knock-knock jokes! If he digs a little deeper, maybe he'll find the famous whoopee cushion and some fake dog doo. Instead he starts reading a quote from the book. Lucky for us he went right to the most important part: "She will come, daughter of the Beast, and with her, unspeakable horror -- a reign of death without end." These words bring on a montage of various people dead in the streets while Christina walks among them. It's very artsy. And if you thought they'd lay off the Biohazard symbol for a change, well, you're wrong.

Father David rushes out of the church, clutching the cocktail recipe book in one hand and a cell phone in the other. He's in the midst of leaving a message on Dr. Ben's voicemail. He "doesn't want to sound alarmist" as he tells Doc Kramer that he's in danger. Nope, that's not alarmist at all. Hey, was I the only one who thought that evil statue would come to life and kill Father David before he could get to his SUV? Yeah, I didn't think so. As Father David starts driving, some wiseacre over in the sound effects department adds the sound of tires squealing, even though the car is still moving really slowly and there is no sign of skid marks. Someone has been waiting for the priest outside the church, remaining totally unobtrusive in his ginormous black Lincoln Continental. Yeah, if I were going on a stakeout, that car would be tops on my list. We can't see the driver, but when a cigarette gets tossed out the window, I'm guessing it's Melrose Jake.

Christina walks down the dock at night. That's kind of weird because we haven't even seen the stupid boat race yet, and that was scheduled for seven o'clock. So it's sometime in June before 7 PM, these people are in New Jersey, and it's dark out. Something's a little off here. Anyway, Christina is all dressed up as a Sea Maiden, which pretty much means she flung a woman-sized doily over herself and belted it with a shiny, shiny ribbon.

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Point Pleasant

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