Down at a local watering hole, Amber is trying to talk, but Melrose Jake shuts her up, since he is "listening to the crickets." He means the local townsfolk, who are gossiping about Judy's condition and griping about tourists in general. "Somebody's going to have to teach these rich bastards a lesson," says one guy. Once Jake is through eavesdropping, he endears himself to me further by inquiring insultingly about Amber's love life. She tells Jake that although he is wicked hot, he makes her ill. Fair enough. With that out of the way, they move on to the alleged business deal. Jake is full of big promises but short on details, as he claims his plan is to "build something that lasts, that matters, that changes people's lives." Well, then clearly he's not planning to create a poorly rated television show about pretty teens nobody cares about and some vaguely supernatural goings-on in a beach community.
Jake explains that first Amber must get all her "emotional ducks in a row." I'm not entirely sure what this means, but apparently it has something to do with Ben being a salt shaker and Meg being a tiny bowl of lime slices blocking the salt shaker. I start to feel sorry for Grant Show. I mean, look at some of the dialogue he has to work with. But I think I feel sorrier for myself because all this salt and lime talk is making me crave a tequila shot, and I think we're all out of tequila.
Hey, speaking of craptacular dialogue, check out Paula. She claims she drove Jesse to the hospital to see Judy. You see, Jesse "is the one who actually cares about people." Golly, that's heartwarming. Too bad there's no one on the writing staff who cares about making sure the script doesn't suck real hard. Meg and Christina walk in. Christina sees Jesse and Paula and walks out again. She does not do this in a way that would minimize Paula's suspicions at all. As Paula stares meanly at the departing Christina, Judy tries to defuse the tension by asking, "So, who wants to see my X-rays?" I think that was supposed to be a joke. No, I really do. Hey, don't try to second-guess your recapping professional, okay?