Point Pleasant

Episode Report Card
Cate: B+ | 473 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Who's Your Daddy?

Christina makes her way to a stairwell and starts pacing nervously. Jesse makes some stupid excuse about not getting any reception on his cell phone and having to go outside. He gets about as far as Christina's stairwell, in case you didn't see that coming. He and Christina make out for a while. They still have no chemistry. They exchange bad dialogue about missing each other, even though they don't even really know each other. They squash their faces together in preparation for another kiss but are interrupted by a member of the hospital staff walking by. "I don't know what this is," mutters Jesse before taking off. Back at Judy's bedside, he learns that Paula took off on him.

Christina walks past the Other Driver, who is bitching into his cell phone about the accident. When he says he thinks Judy faked her injuries, Christina does a slow burn. And you know what's next, right? What do you want to bet Other Driver comes down with a painful hangnail or a really bad case of halitosis? Well, the reality is just as stupid. Other Driver starts choking. That's all. No cherry pits a la The Witches of Eastwick, which rather disappointed me. With all the other movies and shows they've ripped off so far, you have to wonder who was asleep at the wheel to miss a great opportunity like that.

Father Dumb-ass leafs through Father David's Bible and reads aloud a passage that says, "An innocent will come here to serve the beast." Then a drop of pinkish water falls onto the page and arranges itself into three sixes. It's not even the Biohazard symbol, just three garden variety sixes sitting in a row. Father Dumb-ass gasps and closes the Bible. I'd expect him to look around a bit to see where that water came from, but no dice. Instead, he stands up and pulls a dagger out of the desk.

Hey, he's just in time for the arrival of everyone's favorite hell child! Christina says she thinks she knows what the Biohazard symbol means and that Father David is dead. She knows she didn't kill him, though, because for her to hurt somebody, she has to really want to do so, and she didn't even know Father David. She also tells him about Melrose Jake and asks him to pray with her so that they can figure out what to do next. As she starts to say the Lord's Prayer, Father Dumb-ass does his best to pull an Exorcist moment by rolling his eyes far back into his head and hissing, "Get out!" You know, I don't have some fancy degree in filmmaking. Still, correct me if I'm wrong, but if your intended effect is to inspire fear and, instead, you inspire heaps of laughter, that's probably not very good for your TV show, is it?

Point Pleasant

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