Point Pleasant
Who's Your Daddy?

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Cate: B | Grade It Now!
Who's Your Daddy?
FauxDaddy calls Jake to tell him that Christina has been phoning him, wanting to come home. Jake says he thinks she will stay right where she is. Why? Because she's getting attached to the Kramers. It's all part of the grand plan: "That's the trick -- make her love and lose again and again. Eventually the world will feel her pain. Then they'll feel nothing at all." Oh, Jake, quit being such a drama queen.

Paula insists that her mother is being overly melodramatic also, and she needs Jesse to comfort her with a quick roll in the sand under the pier. She even asks Ribcage to take over for Jesse. He sneers as he sarcastically says, "Sounds like a plan, Paula." Ribcage has a name now. It's Terry. Look, if it's all right with you, I'm just not even going to bother remembering that, okay? Good. When Jesse rushes off nervously, Ribcage tries to comfort Paula but gets the brush-off.

Amber is on hold, waiting to speak to Sheriff Logan, when Melrose Jake sneaks up behind her and hangs up her call. He warns her that if she tries to engage in a public battle with Ben, her bad reputation won't exactly be an asset. He wants her help with a business endeavor: buying up the whole town! I guess they're not even going to try to make this thing have any basis in realism, are they?

Jake strikes up a conversation with a city worker who is doing something to the traffic lights at a downtown intersection. He claims it has to do with so many extra people in town during tourist season, and Jake smiles as if this were the most interesting thing in the world.

Back at the beach, Ribcage accuses Jesse of avoiding Paula and asks what's up. Jesse expositions helpfully by explaining that he's not blind to all her "diva" crap. Okay, then why does he stay with her? "She's just the most exciting thing that ever happened to me in this town," he says. Well, obviously he hasn't been down to Main Street lately to chat with the traffic light guy. Jesse used to think he had his future figured out, but after meeting Christina, he's developed delusions of grandeur and thinks that he's meant to do something important. Ribcage must know that Jesse only scored in the single digits on his IQ test, and warns him, "She's just a girl, man. Don't give her too much power." Oh, I see. There's that play on "power," as in Christina's special powers. That's very clever. In comparison to Jesse, anyway.

Christina is walking down Main Street, looking angry as she tries to figure out all the mysteries around her. We know she's thinking about her life issues because there are convenient flashbacks of events like her finding the Biohazard symbol on her eye and listening to Father David's phone message. Melrose Jake is watching her from a sidewalk cafe. As she waits to cross the street, the traffic light guy starts hitting switches on the traffic light box…thing. Hey, I don't know what they're called! Jake knocks his plastic glass off the table. It makes a quiet thudding sound, but evidently this is more than enough to distract traffic light guy, who flips the wrong switch, making the lights in both directions turn green, thus causing a traffic accident. If I told you one of the people involved in this accident were Judy, would you tell me, "Nah, that's far too contrived for a fine show such as this one"? Yeah, I didn't think so. Christina tries to revive the unconscious Judy, but to no avail.

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Point Pleasant




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