Political Animals
Pilot

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Tippi Blevins: B | Grade It Now!
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Never Call a Bitch a Bitch

Douglas is still fuming when he gets back to his mother's office. He's railing about lies and corruption and taking a stand and then his mother bats him about the head with a handful of rolled-up papers like he's a misbehaving puppy. (Note: Please do not hit any actual puppies with rolled-up papers.) Elaine gets him back to the real issue at hand, which is the capture of the three Americans. She can't figure out what Hakam has to gain by picking this particular fight at this particular time. Elaine goes to the press conference with a statement from her own speech writer.

At Elaine's pad, everyone's getting ready for a dinner party. They're calling it a "salon," which is what I'm going to call all my small dinner parties from now on. Elaine comes home to find her mother and T.J. already drinking (Jack Daniels margaritas -- shudder) and complaining about "that bitch Susan Berg." Thomas follows his mother up to her room, excitedly telling her about meeting with some investors. He wants $50k from each of his parents to invest in a nightclub/restaurant. Elaine is halfway through turning him down when she notices the gold brocade dress on her bed. It's a slightly less frumpy version of Hillary's 1997 Inaugural Ball gown. Thomas picked it out for his mother to wear, saying, "I didn't get all the gay genes, but I got the style one." Based on this sartorial choice, I'm going to say... no, you did not. Elaine tells Thomas that Susan Berg has the story of what happened to him last December. Thomas tries to act like it's no big, but he's putting on a brave face. His mother knows it, too. She agrees to give him the investment money if his father also agrees. Then it's all smiles and hugs and happiness. Thomas offers to help his mom with her hair, because apparently there's a gay gene for that, too.

By the time Elaine makes her way down the stairs, all the guests have arrived. Elaine is seriously overdressed. Bud is appreciative though, casting a lecherous glance in her direction, even with new girlfriend Eva at his side. He remembers the dress from a 1997 state dinner. As the mingling begins, Susan makes her way over to Margaret Barrish, who lobs insults like grenades before casually walking away. Things don't really get much better at the dinner table. Eva tries to join in the conversation, but sounds like a shallow nitwit. The Japanese Ambassador tries to speak Japanese with Anne's parents, but there's a communication breakdown. "My parents were born here," Anne says, "as was I." The talk turns to the coming engagement party, to be held as a fund-raiser at the zoo. The whole time, Anne looks slightly uncomfortable, and becomes more so as Elaine goes on about how perfect she is. Anne promptly takes her perfect self to the bathroom, sticks her perfect fingers down her throat and throws up her dinner. Perfectly. In a show with only six episodes, is there really time to cover her problems, too?

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Political Animals

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