Blahbeddy Bloo

Episode Report Card
Pamie: D+ | Grade It Now!
Blah, blah, blah, Presscakes

According to The WB, "America" is talking about Eden's Crush's first single. Seeing as how when I tell people I recap Popstars and they look at me like I just told them I now sell limbs on the Internet, I had no idea "America" was so in the loop.

Previously on Popstars: the girls learned how to dance and sing in one day. This time they only get one day to make a video. Tomorrow, they'll only have one day to find crotchless shorts. Nicole will maybe pass out from the lack of food, but really she won't because that would possibly be interesting. Tiny Squares of Girls and Fun complete with the extended dance remix of "Get Over This Show."

We open with Ana Maria lying on a bed telling us she's excited about making their first video. (Is it still called a "first" when it'll be the "only"? Just wondering.) Ivette gets all cracky-voiced serious and tells us she wants it to "be great." Rosanna squints and says she wants them to look "really hip." Well, with all of those different points of view, how will these girls ever get it together in time? Sorry. I'm just trying to create my own drama in this show now.

We watch the crew prepare the video set. Storyboards. The girls sit down at the production something-or-other as the narrator tells us this is just the first stop in an "endless day of meetings, fittings, and rehearsals." Travis is a co-director. He's worn his happy ski hat for today. We're told again that Travis worked with Madonna and Mandy Moore. The other director, Laura Kelly, did Rage Against the Machine's "Guerilla Radio" and Crazytown's "Butterfly." So, it's Laura Kelly that I hate so much for that stupid "Come, come my lady" Chili Peppers rip-off on constant rotation. Good. I needed to put a face to the anger. Travis and Laura sit at a table and pretend that the girls are going to have some sort of input. It's hilarious. They are basically telling the girls what they're going to do, but saying it in a way that the girls are supposed to think, "These people are all working just to make us happy! We're so special!"

The worst part is here they're going to explain the video bit-by-bit and then shoot the video bit-by-bit and then we're going to watch the video. I'm going to be recapping this stuff three times in a row. I hate it. Anyway, Travis explains that the video will open with this guy walking into this "raw space," which means an apartment. He's got the "newest latest DVD slash CD" technology. Wow. That boy is hip. "He puts it into a great big audio sound system." The girls all listen intently, shifting uncomfortably from the Brazilian waxing they all got first thing that morning. Travis continues and says that DVD boy's friends show up to watch the DVD with him. They then soon realize that all of the girls can see them sitting in their living room. Ivette squints like, "But they see the most, right? Because I need this to be all equal and everything." Rosanna tries to say something smart, but instead she says she loves all of the different "textures" and she thinks it's really "neat" how the whole thing "shifts" during the video.

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