Previously on Popstars: We get the same intro of the audition process. Then we run-down choosing Maile and eliminating the others. We go through Camille getting corrected in the studio. Shaunda has a hard time keeping the beat of the song. Christina screws up, which we didn't see in the last episode. We cut to an interview with Jaymes, who tells us: "Once we got into the studio, Jean, Camille, and Christina's vocals just weren't strong enough across the board. And Shaunda, who has a really good lead voice? Wasn't great with the background harmonies." It took them that long to figure out all of that? I give up. We cut to Margaux and Kerrie dropping out and quick cuts of the second L.A. audition. They're using the really dramatic Chords and Piano Plinking song here to add tension to a situation that has no tension. They give us the names of the five Popstars yet again. We see clips of what's about to happen tonight, but if I recap that, there's nothing to recap. We see everything seven times on this show. All we need to know is that we're about to see some potential catfights. Tiny Squares of Girls and Fun.
The narrator tells us that for weeks these girls have tried to imagine what life as a Popstar would be like, and today that dream comes true. I hate the narrator. Why is he still here? Pan around to different shots of the L.A. home. "It's a three-story retreat. Custom furnished and decorated to make the girls feel comfortable." The living room is basically a gym with a sunken hot tub. I imagine they're hoping for some semi-porn Popstar action now that the Christians are gone.
Rosanna moves in first. We get a split screen of Rosanna walking around the place as she tells us that she moved here from Columbus, Ohio, and that she felt like Goldilocks. Someone needs to tell that girl to lay off the pomade.
The doorbell rings. Rosanna prances over to answer it. The narrator tells us that none of the girls have been told who else makes the group. I imagine that the other four girls are being kept in separate rooms, only allowed to enter the house when they have run out of potential footage inside. And I imagine they'll also be released to the house in a way so that the other girls might talk about who they thought made it, and then be surprised when someone they just bitched about enters the house. Rosanna opens the door. It's Ivette. But I can't even see that it's Ivette because Rosanna has started squealing and cackling and is holding Ivette so tightly she might die before the first single. Brilliant move, Rosanna. They hug and laugh until we break into a split screen where Ivette is telling Rosanna she knew she'd see her again at some point in her life.