Angela Peel is the pretty girl who gave birth three weeks ago. She dances, and in a split-screen we see her all exhausted with the new kid. She explains to us that she basically sat on her ass for nine months waiting for some damn kid to be born, ready to ruin her life, "in chill mode and everything," and now she gets to get up and dance, so it's crazy because she's dancing, and not sitting down rocking her kid to sleep. Does anyone think that the powers that be would let a new teen mom be in a pop group? She's pretty and all, but those tattoos and that kid mean she's either got to go be the new Lil' Kim, or she'll have to wait a few years before she can be on a tour as a backup singer for someone else. Angela's dance style is to hold the waistband of her pants up as she rocks her ass back and forth until you're hypnotized like a snake. That's also just how she got pregnant, by the way.
The narrator tells us that Jahzeel Mumford is "counting on his dance talent" to get him another callback. And that's different from everyone else how, exactly? In a split-screen, Jahzeel tells us that two weeks ago he was watching the first-season Popstars reruns, and now he's at a callback in D.C. Wait. They showed reruns of Popstars? Where? When? Why? Jahzeel says to just "do your thing." His thing consists of jerky dance moves that look like invisible people are pulling on his head, trying to get him to enter another dimension.
Freestyle is over, and I'm applauding with all of them. The narrator keeps calling them "kids," because it's impolite to call them "overage hopefuls." It's time for the choreographed section.
Some guy we don't know tells us that he's nervous because he's not really a dancer, he's more of a singer. And since we never caught your name, you're probably not really a Popstar, you're more of an auditioner.
Another girl whose name we don't get tells us that dancing's easy-schmeasy. "Because I'm, like, have heavy dance training." But like, light grammar training.
Some girl tries to teach Tan in a Can how to dance. It doesn't work. Neither does the orange sports bra. Someone give these kids some fashion tips. Oh, by the way, in order to dance pop, you just have to dance "like karate." That's what they just taught me in that last clip. Just sharing the wealth of knowledge.
Fucking Moi. That's my immediate reaction to seeing him flip around like a monkey every three minutes. Back to day-two auditions, Moi's telling the judges that he's a "B-Boy." He says he doesn't know if they know what that is, and instantly the judges say that they know what a B-Boy is and then they turn to their assistants and get them to go look up "B-Boy" on the internet and come back with a full report. Moi does push-ups off a chair in a split-screen as he brags about his "talent." I think he then says he's got the four elements of being a B-Boy, which is tagging (breaking the law by spraypainting on city buildings and structures), spinning (records, I'm assuming), emceeing, and singing. And the dancing's where, exactly?