Popstars

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B+ | 434 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
You Won't Be Dancin', Yeah

Travis tells us, "Not always the best dancer who catches my attention [sic]. It's usually that dancer who has a special something that draws my eye to them [sic]." As Travis says this, we see Baby Norman grind her ass on the camera.

Flashback to Day One, with Garland Gerber's Fancy Sparkly Boots. You know, if the girl's name is sticking in my head, I'd say that's a good sign that she's going to make it. I always remember Baby Norman. And Garland Gerber. Ivette Sosa. Uh, offhand, I think I can also remember Tiffinni Ranae and...oh, man. That's about it. Garland tells us, "If you saw me walking down the street you'd probably think I was a freak. But if I'm a Popstar, it's cool." They've given the Hyphentwins director's chairs now, so they can cross their arms and cat-talk to each other as the girls dance. We're told it's Gerber's "talent" and not her "boots" that have gotten her this far. Garland dances and sexes the camera up good.

Rosanna "Addicted to Love" Tavarez has worn her slicked-back hair and crazy lipstick all three days of the auditions. We see her first audition with the scary green pants. We're told that only her mother had heard her sing before. She's a dance major from Ohio State. Rosanna tells us that she used to do musicals when she was a kid and then "stopped for a while" and now, thank God, she's back. She says she loves singing in the shower and then darts her lizard tongue out at us. Rosanna's callback ("Genie In A Bottle") is warbly and awkward and just bad enough to get her another callback. As Rosanna is singing and rubbing her hands across her vagina, the narrator tells us that Rosanna gave a callback that would make her mother proud. In a split screen, Rosanna and her mother kiss each other on the mouth. The narrator tells us that Rosanna's dance training gives her a "leg up" on the others in the dance audition. For some reason, though, they only shoot her from the chest up, so we can't see her dance at all. Just her face. The camera then pans down and Rosanna's ass is bumping and grinding the camera. That's some good dancing, right there.

Popstars

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