Popstars

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B+ | 434 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
You Won't Be Dancin', Yeah

We cut to another group. This one is having problems. "Three of the girls are being overshadowed by Melissa Rosenson, a dispatcher from Atlanta, Georgia." One of the overshadowed girls is my new favorite, Curtisha. Melissa, twenty, is wearing incredible amounts of lipstick, and obviously thinks she's Christina Aguilera. The other girls are giving her the stink-eye as Melissa groans and moans through the words. Jennifer watches and mumbles something through a smile to Jaymes. I can't hear what it was. It must not have been approved by Jaymes.

We cut to a flashback of Bea and are told once again about her lucky tube top. We see her at the Day Two auditions. "Was I supposed to get dressed up?" she snarks, looking around the room. "I didn't know that. Nobody informed me of that." The narrator tells us that Bea brings a "cool street vibe to her ensemble." We see Bea telling her group how to sing like Christina Aguilera.

We cut to Christina Petty, the foster kid with the snotrag, as the judges stand behind her and watch. Narrator: "Christina Petty's come a long way in the past few days. In more ways than one." These sentences mean nothing, people. Cut to Christina and her rose tattoo: "But I'm glad I made it. Cuz I came way from Hampton, Virginia, to come out here today. I was on a bus all last night." We're told that Christina traveled ten hours on a bus to audition in New York and was "battling" not only her nerves, but "fatigue." We see Christina on Day One. Travis asks her to stop singing and jump to the end. Christina starts to move to the last star, until Travis tells her that he meant to jump to the end of the song. Everyone laughs at the foster kid. "At the dance callback, Christina began to come out of her shell." Christina puts her arms in the air and grinds her hips around. Wearing that Tommy Girl tank she's got on, I'm assuming Christina isn't as hard-up for cash as she's telling us. We're told the judges think Christina has "tremendous potential." The judges mumble to each other, but I can't hear it over all the flat notes echoing through the room. "Sort of the rebellious, cool one," Travis gets out over the girls.

We see one girl spin on her knees as the narrator tells us that the girls have run out of time. Tiffinni Ranae gives a frantic look up as Travis tells all of them that they have to stop working.

Group One is five girls having five different auditions at the same time. Their idea of choreography must have been, "Okay, y'all. Just go out there and do your own thing. Shake it up. Sing strong." The girls occasionally turn towards each other and point, but since it's "Genie In A Bottle," it looks like they're asking each other for rub-downs. They also all sound about twelve years old.

Popstars

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