Vanessa didn't get to audition last year because she was too young. Damn, are we still in New York? What day is it? Jackie's already got his callback. Will Vanessa? She's eighteen, singing "Say My Name." She sounds a little Chipmunk-y.
Lindsay O'Connell, nineteen, Milltown, NJ, is singing a song that sounds like Cole Porter wrote it. She also looks like she can't breathe. She's all hunched forward, lurching towards the judges. She's got braces and a halter top.
Danielle Raffa, twenty, Suffern, NY is making us all Suffern. Yes, I may have stolen that joke from Sex and the City, but she's stolen her look from the two Toris. Crapcock tells Jaymes that girls would want to be like Vanessa because she's "trendy and cool." They call her back, but not the other two ladies. Outside, Jackie picks her up and spins her. "Brotha Sistah Baby!" he yells at us. "We both did it!" Vanessa laughs from inside her noogie.
Travis Barr-Longo, twenty-one, Cazenovia, NY, will be good for a few laughs. His grandmother paid for his trip out here. He takes his audition spot and starts speaking in Spanish about how happy he is to be there. He's a singing waiter, y'all. I can't tell what song he's singing. In a split-screen, he tells someone on his cell phone that he went in speaking Spanish and that he told them, "Many kisses from a Spice Boy." I love him. The real Travis would have loved him. I miss Travis.
Diane Lozada, twenty-three, Flushing, NY, is very small and lacking anything that makes me want to look at her. Her pants are skanky and she's very skinny and she looks like she's hungry. Jaymes tells Crapcock that she doesn't like Travis's voice. She just disagrees with everything Crapcock says. She wants to make him into the ManJennifer. Will it happen? They call back Travis and Diane. Travis tries to hug Diane, but she's too into herself, so he has to turn and hug the loser next to him, who's all, "Thanks. I didn't win -- you know that, right?" Travis gets on his cell phone and doesn't even get out the word "made" in "I made the callback" before he starts bawling and clicking on the phone. He starts sobbing as the person next to him is all, "He's really embarrassing." Travis says he can't believe he made the callback, since they turned away "really, really talented people."
New York is over, and they only took seventy-two out of the thousand that auditioned. Good Lord, that's exhausting. How is this the best tape out of the thousand? We see a montage of strangers, all celebrating their victory. I guess we might meet them later. Who knows? The narrator tells us that the judges are "far from overwhelmed" at the talent in the New York audition. Crapcock tells us that they haven't really found someone who would sing lead yet, but might have found a couple of backup singers. Jaymes reminds us that there are five more cities. Tony repeats it.