Oh, and Joe Warrick, twenty-one, from Griffith, IN. No personality, military-looking, borderline talent. He gets a callback. Why are all these boys so boring?
Forty-three people got called back from Chicago. We met, like, two of them.
D.C. Two girls rap very poorly. Another girl tells us that she eats, sleeps, and lives music. Tony flirts with the crowd.
Donavan Green, twenty-three, Baltimore, MD. The narrator tries to get us to believe that this guy is a "local talent" with his fashion design. Using a puffy paint pen to write the word "Popstar" on a t-shirt does not make you Ralph Lauren, okay? The judges act all impressed with Donavan's Breakdancing Chic, and he admits he made the shirt and the bandanna, but a friend made the pants. He sings and tells us in a split screen that he thinks he can sing, dance, and he's like what everyone is listening to these days. They keep asking him to stop singing and he keeps on not stopping and just keeps on singing. Tony says he asked Donovan to go to the chorus, and he didn't. "You feelin' it, though," he says, and then calls him back.
Oh, Mindy Satterfield, twenty-one, from Bethesda. I wish we followed her more than just these fifteen seconds. Her arms have giant tattoos. She says she's pissed off about the people in line because they keep butting in. She sings Uncle Kracker's "Follow Me," but she changes the words to talk about herself and says that they'd better pick her because they'll never find another girl like Mindy. She's all tough and acting like she's going to punch someone. "Trouble," Jaymes voice-overs, as Mindy takes her place back in line. Not called back. Outside, Mindy tells everyone that it's like a slaughterhouse in there. She smokes her cigarette and says she sucked, but that good people were getting cut. "There were people in there that were singing like a MamaJama, and were, like, doing the whole dance thing!" Love her.
The narrator: "Texas girl Kimberly Caldwell thought she had the perfect family until her parents split up." Heh. The second part of that sentence is funny, but also, there are probably nine hundred girls in Texas named Kim Caldwell. This one blonde does look kind of familiar, though. She tells us that she wants to become rich and famous so she can buy her mom a house. Her mom looks tired of giving blowjobs in trailers and admits she'd like to have a house bought by Kim as well. She wants to be fed grapes. Damn if these ladies don't look familiar. Well, there you go. In the ultimate shout-out, Kim is from Katy, TX, home of Clint Black, Renee Zellweger, and your very own Pamie. Janeane Garofalo was there for a year as well. This says Kim's nineteen, but I'm not buying it. I'll check my yearbooks. Hold on....Well, she either has a sister named Megan, or she went to my rival high school, or she went to school with my little sister. In any event, this girl looks really familiar. Not that I live in white trash. Damn. I dug my own hole on that one, didn't I? Calling her mama a whore and then being all, "Shout-out! Hey, neighbor! Our mamas work the same circuit!" Have you ever made a joke that ended up with you calling your own mother a whore? It doesn't make you feel good. Moving on. Kim sings pretty and they call her back, telling her that she's got an "unique tone" to her voice, which means she won't make the final cut.