Diane Lozada, twenty-three, Flushing, NY, is very small and lacking anything that makes me want to look at her. Her pants are skanky and she's very skinny and she looks like she's hungry. Jaymes tells Crapcock that she doesn't like Travis's voice. She just disagrees with everything Crapcock says. She wants to make him into the ManJennifer. Will it happen? They call back Travis and Diane. Travis tries to hug Diane, but she's too into herself, so he has to turn and hug the loser next to him, who's all, "Thanks. I didn't win -- you know that, right?" Travis gets on his cell phone and doesn't even get out the word "made" in "I made the callback" before he starts bawling and clicking on the phone. He starts sobbing as the person next to him is all, "He's really embarrassing." Travis says he can't believe he made the callback, since they turned away "really, really talented people."
New York is over, and they only took seventy-two out of the thousand that auditioned. Good Lord, that's exhausting. How is this the best tape out of the thousand? We see a montage of strangers, all celebrating their victory. I guess we might meet them later. Who knows? The narrator tells us that the judges are "far from overwhelmed" at the talent in the New York audition. Crapcock tells us that they haven't really found someone who would sing lead yet, but might have found a couple of backup singers. Jaymes reminds us that there are five more cities. Tony repeats it.
Los Angeles. Some kid looks like he's standing outside my apartment as he announces that they're all in Los Angeles for the auditions. So many people standing outside. The narrator informs is that it's "quickly becoming a Popstars trend." Is a "trend" two times? I didn't know that. Man. Girls are in rollers, telling us they've been camped out for almost two days for this audition. Megaphone man announces that they're out of wristbands for women. Some girl's all shocked that she came to the audition at 6:30 thinking she'd be early for the 7:00 call, and now she can't audition. That's Los Angeles for you. Always thinking you're special and that you're going out of your way when you're just doing what you're supposed to do. Number 394 tells us he's excited to audition.
Moi (pronounced "Moy") Juarez, twenty, Torrance, CA, grew up in Mexico with his dad. Now he's back in the states and he wants to dance. I want him to unroll that one leg and take that towel out from under his hat. I hate him. He starts singing, but stops to breakdance, which I think should be grounds for disqualification. They're impressed with the breakdancing. I'm impressed that Moi's holding onto the Punky Brewster fashion sense. They ask him to stop singing, so he hits one high note before he stops, and then backs up. The judges discuss him, saying that they'd like to see him without that ridiculous hat. He's got some kind of "vibe," apparently. They ask him to take off his hat. He's wearing a penis cap under it. They ask him to take that off as well. He's a dead-ringer for Erik-Michael Estrada. He's so in and I hate him. They make him do the dance move again. They love it and invite him back. Moi tells us he's a breakdancer and that's what he does all day long. Then why try for the singing gig, exactly?