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L.A. Apologizes for Noise Violations

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B | 12 USERS: A+
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Tears On My Pillow

Ivette sings and Roger, off-camera, barks, "Don't get louder! Don't get louder!" Ivette stops singing completely.

I think this girl is Katie Morris? I don't know. In any event, her voice is wavering all over the place and scratchy, so Roger comes over and jiggles her stomach, making her voice come out even more wavering and scratchy. Like magic!

Cheaza sings her ass off to "How Do I Live," putting the Jesus into Shaunda who now has to jump around and testify. She really does, y'all. "You gotta sing!" she shouts. Alexis runs over and hugs Cheaza as Cheaza covers her face like, "Did I just sing all of that?"

Cut to an over-emotional Shaunda telling someone, "You don't understand." She loves to hear people sing. Well, she actually says she loves "somebody that can blow," but I know how dirty all of you are, so I was going to clean it up for you. But then I decided not to. Because I love it when you talk dirty to me. I really do.

Petagay gives Cheaza a teary hug as the narrator tells us that Cheaza's singing has "lifted the girls' spirits." I suppose it's considered lifting their spirits if they all finally mustered up enough hatred and jealousy to plan her murder. At least they're united in something. The narrator says it's been a hard day. To prove this, we see random shots of girls teary-eyed or full-out bawling. We're told that tomorrow will be even tougher. "When the girls come back, the competition heats up." We see Alexandra shake her head in slow-motion, crying. "Driving some to their breaking point." Finally the fucking Tiny Squares of Girls and Fun. Thank you!

Workshop. Day Two. We're told that most girls didn't sleep last night from the pressure of the first day. Rumors started to spread, and some girls don't like other girls this fine morning. Nikki tells us, "I was talking to one of the girls last night, and she told me that, um, she knew that two of the spots were already filled, and that the two lead spots had already been filled, which meant that I was going home, because I have a lead voice, and I am just 'too good,' as she put it, to be put on background vocals. So since the two lead positions were already filled, I was on the next train out of here, basically, is what she told me. And I was like, 'Oh, my God,' you know, 'did you just tell that to me?'" People, that's what happens when you let the Dallas girls talk for a second. Look at the size of that sentence!

Crystal Donahue (who I keep mistaking for Petagay) breaks it down like this: "Basically, what I've heard is like, that, um, initially if they want a five-girl group, they're gonna want somebody like the Spice Girls, and, you know, looking around here there's like a lot of minorities, so they're going to choose like, a token -- I don't know, Spice Girls -- a token blonde, a token, maybe ethnic black or in this case Hispanic or something like that, and then a token everybody else. And that was like the main rumor." Crystal has some talking skills, y'all.

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