Popstars

Ep.

Title

Air/Pub'l

Grade

Author

2-5
Recap

Cry, Little Sister

Jackie Has Issues, Y'all - The grossest breakup on the WB gets special attention this evening as the Salvucci Sibs have to say a tearful goodbye in front of way too many people.

11.08.2001
11.13.2001
C+

Pamie

2-4
Recap

California Dreamin'

The Tension! The Tears! The Predictability! - The judges narrow the finalists down to twenty-six, which also happens to be the average age of a Popstars auditioner.

11.07.2001
11.10.2001
C

Pamie

2-3
Recap

Alexandra Bitchlier Busts a Move

If You Can't Dance - First I limp to the side like my legs was broken/ shakin' & twitchin' kinda like I was smokin'/ crazy wack funky/ people say, "You look like Tyrreggnngnniallld on crack, Pamie!"

10.31.2001
11.02.2001
C+

Pamie

2-2
Recap

Faith Hill Apologizes, Cuts Off Ears

Callback's a Bitch - And so will the rest of you after nine thousand renditions of "I Love the Way" or whatever the hell the name of that song is. On Day two of callbacks, producers cut people we never meet and introduce people that are only mildly interesting.

10.24.2001
10.27.2001
C-

Pamie

2-1
Recap

Smells Like Teens Sucking

I'm Like a Turd! I Will Not Flush Away! - Six thousand people prove why there should be a tougher screening process to get into show business. On a brighter note, six thousand people just used up their fifteen minutes of fame in a way that didn't bother most people in this world.

10.17.2001
10.19.2001
C+

Pamie

1-14
Recap

Suckapasucka

Teenapalooza - Fox puts on a big concert somewhere in Virginia called Teenapalooza. Stee and Pamie decide to recap it. Who has made the bigger error? It's too close to call, really.

06.28.2001
06.28.2001

Pamie

1-13
Recap

Eden's Crush, We Hardly Bothered To Know Ye

The "First" Concert - The girls say a very long goodbye. A very, very long goodbye. Somewhere in Los Angeles, they're still saying goodbye.

04.05.2001
04.12.2001
C-

Pamie

1-12
Recap

When Will the Fans Stop Screaming, Clarice?

Shut Up, Nicole - St. Elmo hired lots of young people to pretend to love these girls. Eden's Crush eats it up like honey.

03.29.2001
04.03.2001
F

Pamie

1-11
Recap

I Hate You Guys So Much

Shut Up, Maile - The girls go on a press tour. Their biggest fear? "Looking stupid" in front of the world. Los Angeles crumbles at the sound of the worldwide simultaneous screaming of the words "Too Late!"

03.22.2001
03.29.2001
F

Pamie

1-10
Recap

Wah! It's Hard to Stand Still For Pictures!

Shut Up, Ivette - The girls have a photo shoot. You'd think they were all told they're shooting porn. Except they aren't as excited.

03.15.2001
03.19.2001
C-

Pamie

1-9
Recap

Blah, blah, blah, Presscakes

Blahbeddy Bloo - Hey girls? Wanna make a video? Yeah? Well, do you have to put us through the whole damn process? How about some nekkid parts or something? And what is up with Rosanna's hair?

03.08.2001
03.16.2001
D+

Pamie

1-8
Recap

Boo.

The World Sleeps - The show has gone way downhill now that the group has been chosen. One long rehearsal is followed by one long performance. Boring.

03.01.2001
03.06.2001
D+

Pamie

1-7
Recap

Oh, Get Over Yourselves

Eden Is Crying - The girls start making their first single. There's really nothing more boring than these girls and their stupid-ass complaints.

02.22.2001
02.27.2001
C+

Pamie

1-6
Recap

The Longest Cut

Making the Band - In this hour-long episode the final five girls are chosen. To do that, the producers have to humiliate the other girls in their living rooms. It's the only thing that makes sense.

02.15.2001
02.22.2001
B

Pamie

1-5
Recap

Oh, That Corner? That's the One We Put Baby In.

The Blur of Tears - The quickest elimination. Ten girls get the cut before you have a chance to evaluate.

02.08.2001
02.12.2001
C+

Pamie

1-4
Recap

Tears On My Pillow

L.A. Apologizes for Noise Violations - The L.A. workshop quickly turns into a sob fest. The girls learn that L.A. is a harsh, cruel mistress.

02.01.2001
02.06.2001
B

Pamie

1-4
Recap

Jangela Speaks!

Jangela Speaks! - She may have already gotten the boot, but she still gets the last word.

02.04.2001
02.04.2001

Pamie

1-3
Recap

You Won't Be Dancin', Yeah

If You Can't Dance - The callbacks end with a quick dance audition. The Hyphentwins argue with St. Elmo on the twenty-six girls that will be asked to participate in a week-long workshop in L.A. Which girls make the cut? No real surprises here.

01.25.2001
01.28.2001
B

Pamie

1-2
Recap

Das Boot

Callback Craptastic - It's the second day. That means more songs to butcher, more names to slaughter, and more girls you want to strangle. Come see all the murderous fun. Hyphentwins: medicate!

01.18.2001
01.25.2001
B

Pamie

1-1
Recap

Girls, Girls, Girls

Pilot - Meet all the girls of the newest WB show Popstars as they warble, slut and whine their way into your hearts.

01.11.2001
01.17.2001
B

Pamie

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