Previously on Popstars: they made a video. Woo. Hoo. Nicole brags about the "playfulness" that "was adorable" in the video. Rosanna says it was great because she got to "experiment with a new look." One that she should kill someone over. She also "got to become another person. In a sense." I'll leave that one alone. Ivette: "It's collective. It's a team. We're a team. And it looks great." This is because Ivette is featured heavily in the video. And I wasn't making a fat joke. Tonight the girls are going to have a photo shoot, where Ivette and Rosanna will have some problems with their own body images. Rosanna storms out of the studio into the dark while some guy goes, "Yeah. Just go away and come back, okay?" Yeah, Rosanna. But you can skip the second part, there. Then Nicole and Maile "go head-to-head," over selecting the final picture, as if the girls get to decide the final picture anyway. But Nicole says, "Fuck you" a few times, which is the closest thing to a catfight we've seen so far. Huzzah!
Tiny Slow Squares of Girls and Suffering fill my living room, sending my cats racing for their litter box.
We watch the girls get made over as the narrator tells us this photo shoot is incredibly important because it might be used for the cover of the album. Since they've been pimping the single so hard, we already know that it is.
Oh, yeah. Carlo Dalla Chiesa is the photographer for this session, and he's just like the man that did my headshots in college, but without the pretty face. He's all Italian and sensual, but in a Big Poppa way that makes you go, "I think he's yelling at me, but I can't tell." He's already shot J-Lo, Mandy Moore, and Toni Braxton, which means he knows how to talk girls into getting naked for the camera. This also means he knows he's about a zillion times better than this gig. He's shows us this bear rug floor that's covered in weeds, which is supposed to represent the desert. The second set is just gold lame with stripes, which is somehow supposed to represent a stage and be "flashy." The third set is black and white sand ("a little more sophisticated"), which some poor kid has to sweep around, wishing he'd just stayed in Knoxville where he had a girl and a good job.
Nicole gets oil rubbed on her tummy as she gets ready to pose for her solo photos. Then she stands there while people take her picture. It's really that boring. She's wearing some sort of purple scarf dress thing that looks like a Pocahontas outfit. She shakes her hips and Carlo tells her she's doing a great job. For some reason, Travis stands nearby watching.