Shut Up, Ivette

Episode Report Card
Pamie: C- | Grade It Now!
Wah! It's Hard to Stand Still For Pictures!

The girls get pictures taken. Carlo is happy.

Maile rubs her pained feet. Rosanna yawns.

More pictures are taken while Carlo shouts Ana Maria's name in ecstasy. Pouty lips. Electric fan. Standing. Standing. Standing. Cue Sound Cute #502: "The girls are running on empty." Everyone yawns and stretches.

Ivette needs her own pep talk at this point, so Carlo comes over and tells her that beauty is in her mind. He basically tells her that maybe she is fatter than the other girls, but she just has to use that fat and go with it. He calls her "bigger than a normal girl." He mentions Jennifer Lopez and holds his hands three feet away from each other to describe the size of her ass and says that at least J-Lo accepts her gigantic butt and uses it. "She doesn't care." Carlo seems to be mistaken on about seven hundred levels here. Ivette says she knows it's in her own head. Carlo walks away while Ivette tells us in a split screen that she was beating herself up and wished she were skinnier. Then she said it felt "crappy" to feel that way about herself. "You know what I mean? I just felt so not right."

The narrator reminds us that the shooting is behind schedule as we watch Rosanna's behind stomp around. We're told that Rosanna's got some problems. They just don't tell us what problems she's having. Carlo walks her off the set and I guess she's all crying in an alley while he tells her he can't take her picture this way and she needs to just cool off. Carlo plays the Selena card on Rosanna, which I don't get, and apparently it's helping. She's all sniffing off-camera and he asks her if she smokes. She laughs and says she doesn't, of course, and I feel genuinely bad for Carlo. He tells her to go away and come back. In a split screen Rosanna says she had been stressing all day about how she looks and she was tired and overwhelmed and she had to take a break. See? Everything is fine.

The girls are back in makeup and Maile is telling us she's tired. Rosanna's pouting. Nicole's eating something. The narrator tells us the girls pull it together to take the last shot of the night. It's now been fifteen hours of photography.

More druggy pictures are taken and there's so much lip-gloss I have to squint from the glare. Hair flipping, pouts, vacant stares. Travis sticks himself in for the final two pictures. They cheer themselves a job well done. I take a well-deserved nap during the commercial.

The girls are now all poring over the proofs, as if they get a say in the final shots. They're saying that they have to decide which ones they like more than others. Well, Maile puts it much more eloquently than I ever could: "Like, we have to write on the sticker, like, 'See,' like, 'the cover.' Or, 'Yes, we love it.' But, I'm gonna make notes because I know to use the negs." I don't even know what that means. I'm not even sure if that's what she said because all of the other girls are louder on the tape than she is.

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