Popstars

Episode Report Card
Pamie: F | 669 USERS: B-
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When Will the Fans Stop Screaming, Clarice?

The girls go into their Boyz II Men ballad. Some of the audience wave their hands in the air. Some scream. Some wonder how much longer they contractually have to stand there.

Oh, man. Nicole is crazy drugged up. Her eyes are all glassy and they've put some sort of smelling salts on her to keep her awake. She says, "I remember being onstage and feeling at home. And I remember my whole body felt so warm. And I wanted to make eye-contact with every single person out there just to say, 'Thank you so much for being here.'" Man, I want some of her drugs.

The crying-laughing girl from earlier is shown snarking to her friend again. Oh, Ivette has a verse in this song. No wonder we rarely hear it. We see the same shot of the lipstick-face girl cheering. Lime Green Older Girl doesn't know the words, but sasses her head around and opens her mouth like she does. Ivette screws up her lip-synching just a bit and we see her inhale before we hear it. The crowd is quite subdued at this point. The cameramen walk onto the stage and the crowd realizes the song is ending, so they start cheering harder. Lipstick girl points at the camera and gives a "number one" sign. Jenny screams.

Ana Maria introduces "Get Over Yourself," as a song that's "in stores right now." Nicole's head wobbles precariously on her shoulders as she shouts again, "What? What?" Which is exactly what I said after I heard her do that. Nicole is always adding just a bit more to her parts, isn't she? About nineteen girls in the audience actually know the words and sing along. The rest of them forgot to do their homework.

Okay, so yeah. I have to hear this damn song again. Ana Maria tells us in a split screen how great it feels to be onstage and how she has energy "come out of [she doesn't] know where." She says she just projects it. They've already added an extended dance remix to the end of the song. The girls hold the ending pose while the audience cheers for a long time because it's finally over. The girls thank Chicago and run offstage. The narrator says that "although it's gone well, the girls are overwhelmed." Oh, God. Can't they like anything?

Popstars

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