Shut Up, Nicole

Episode Report Card
Pamie: F | Grade It Now!
When Will the Fans Stop Screaming, Clarice?

I will say that this segment is incredibly fake. We watch Jenny "innocently" hanging with her friends as Travis pulls up in a limo. I guess Jenny has no idea why she's being recorded with her friends, answering questions about Popstars. Travis runs through the cold in his black sassy clothes. He turns to us and says condescendingly, "We are at the home of Jenny, who's the ultimate Popstars fan. She has no idea I'm here and she doesn't even know that she's going to go see the girls tonight."

Travis just lets himself into the house and knocks on Jenny's bedroom door. The door is decorated with pictures of the girls and some printout that "Jenny" made declaring herself the ultimate fan. Jenny opens the door, looks at the camera, waits for the signal, and then lets out a blood-curdling scream. Once the door opens you can see that Travis wasn't actually at Jenny's bedroom door, but her apartment front door, which makes the placing of the "ultimate fan" printouts that much more ridiculous. The camera from INSIDE THE HOUSE films Jenny turning around in shock. Jenny's older sister shouts from somewhere in the house, "Jenny! Shut up! You're such a spaz! It's just a television show! Turn off the tape!" The cameramen find each other inside Jenny's house as Jenny is running around the living room. Jenny's friends stand in the back of the house. It's time for the little one's medication. I didn't just say that. Jenny's older brother accidentally walks out of the kitchen, sees what's going on, and then hides against the refrigerator. Jenny is freaking out, but she's mostly staring at the cue cards. "Oh my God! You're Travis Payne! You're the choreographer!" Travis leans way in (I do love me some Travis, because he knows that we know that he knows we know) and says, "You're Jenny!" Jenny screams and says she is. "You're the ultimate fan," Travis says, while giving "the signal" with his head to the other friends to come running up as Jenny starts screaming. Oh, God. Jenny's friends. I'm not going to say here that the little old lady friend here almost falls over from laughing at everything. The other quiet friend is open-mouthed. Clearly they were told to give a reaction shot here. Jenny is hugging Travis and screaming "Oh, my God!" as we see the other cameraman filming Jenny's friends.

"Casually," all three girls just sit down with Travis to chat. There's almost no room for Little Old Lady Friend, but Quiet One moves over. Travis asks Jenny to tell him what she likes about the show. Quiet One moves forward so she's in the shot. Jenny says, "I -- I -- I don't like it. I love it." Little Old Lady Friend turns to us and smiles. God, help me, I'm not going to say anything bad about this girl but it's obvious that her three divorces over the years have been rough on her. I'm not going to tell you that she looks like a high school drama teacher. I want to find this girl's mother and smack her around for dressing this poor child like she's about to play Bridge. Jenny continues: "Popstars shows that there is a lot of talent out there and there are girls who don't make it even if they do have enough talent. And Ivette, Ana Maria, Maile, Rosanna, and Nicole all proved that they have enough dancing talent and enough vocal talent that they were able to make it into a group." She is good at the memorization, isn't she?

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