Popstars
The Tension! The Tears! The Predictability!

Episode Report Card
Pamie: C | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
California Dreamin'

Y'all remember non-gay Brandon Durand with the wispy voice and the robotic dancing, right? The narrator reminds us how great he is and that he's a professional choreographer and stuff. PseudoTravis says that Brandon can dance his butt off. Crapcock, who hates anyone who's a threat, says he recalls that Brandon doesn't have that much of a voice. To prove it, the editors make a quick joke by showing us Brandon sing the words, "That ain't no lie." Brandon does that thing where he snorts air out when he's done singing a lyric.

Crapcock does the honors, calling up Brandon to tell him that they don't want him at the workshop. Crapcock tells him that he was one of the good people, but "unfortunately" they're not going to have him. Brandon rolls his head back and looks like he's pretty used to getting rejection in this business. I'm not slamming him; I think it shows that Brandon's really a professional, whereas these other crybabies are having their first audition experience and can't hang when someone tells them no. Brandon's girlfriend is videotaping, and when he hangs up and shakes his head she says, "You're kidding," but doesn't stop filming him. Brandon tells us that he's proud he made it this far, and he knows his friends and family are proud of him. We watch him get hugs from men in the room as his girlfriend just keeps filming. Bye, Brandon.

Michael Washington is that kid with the church-choir background that we really don't know very well. He introduces us to his entire family. Both sets of grandparents, his mother, his sister, and his sister's baby are all there to hear from the judges. His mother brags that Michael is very talented and can play the piano by ear. He tells us it's been hard waiting on the call.

Jaymes gets to call Michael, so you know he's in. She never calls to tell people no. She tells him that they saw about three times as many people this time as last time, and "nevertheless" they were still impressed by his voice. Nice compliment, lady. She invites him to the workshop, and his family rejoices. Then they all run out on the front lawn and sing gospel songs. I'm not kidding. Amen.

According to the interactive poll that none of you are taking, at this point 45% of you think that only Jackie will be asked to the workshop. 8% of you think that Vanessa will be asked back. 38% of you think that both will be asked to the workshop. Mad props to the 9% of you that know neither of these kids should be allowed to torture us any longer.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8Next

Popstars

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP