The Tension! The Tears! The Predictability!

Episode Report Card
Pamie: C | Grade It Now!
California Dreamin'

Angela Peel just had a baby five minutes ago, so she's ready to move on, move out, and start her own life. We see Crapcock ask Angela at the second-day auditions what's going to happen to her baby. Angela tells them that her baby's daddy takes care of the baby, and that when he's not doing it, there are so many other people who have picked up all of the responsibilities she's shirked, and that the baby is taken care of.

Angela holds up her squirming, unhappy child to the camera. His name is Angel. Angel is unhappy because he has no idea who this woman is holding him. Carlos, the baby's daddy, informs us that he's been with Angela about a year and a half now. That wasn't long before she was pregnant, huh? And what does the proud mother have to say about having a brand-new child and a new relationship and a family? "When I was still pregnant -- oh, God. The depression. The feeling like 'I'm never going to be beautiful again.' I thought I'd never have a chance at my singing career because I'd be busy with the baby all the time. But now I can say I did Popstars." We see Angela on her back with the baby on her stomach, dreaming of the day she doesn't have to be around that child anymore. The narrator reminds us that Angela will be happy with her life if she gets to be a Popstar, but that's pretty much the only way.

PseudoTravis reminds Jaymes that Angela was great in Chicago. Jaymes reminds PseudoTravis that Angela has a baby. PseudoTravis acts like he didn't hear her, and says that they were amazed by her audition. What kind of Popstar has a newborn who's getting ignored at home? Can you imagine if Baby Spice had a baby? Baby Baby Spice? No way.

Crapcock calls up Angela and asks her to L.A. because nobody gives a shit about Angel Peel. Angela laughs on the phone and says that this means a lot to her. Angela's immediately packing, with Angel already in Carlos's hands. She packs a shirt with the word "Angel" on it, so she doesn't forget her baby's name on her way to the top. We even get to see the car pull away as Carlos and Angel become distant memories in Angela's mind.

Alexandra. Y'all want to see her get let down, right? More crying and head shaking and everything, right? Jaymes quizzes Crapcock and PseudoTravis, asking whether Alexandra has a good voice. They pass the test by agreeing that she does. They watch the tape again in which Alexandra blows it for everyone by sucking so hard. They agree that she's still a quitter, and that she still sucks. "Her voice is really good, though," Crapcock says, because he wants to nail her. Jaymes interjects that Alexandra has a cute face and they all agree that she's really cute. "Cute with a voice," they conclude.

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