Josh and Harrison are having lunch. Josh shows his sample college application form to Harrison, who remarks that Josh has no extracurriculars. Um, hello? Josh is on every sports team. He was the lead in South Pacific last year. He was just in Chem's VD play and Equus and is the vice president of "Kennedy Students Support GAYS AND LESBIANS Club. Does anyone in that writing pool have any concept of continuity? Harrison mentions that he too has no extracurriculars -- even though he's secretary of the Kennedy Students Support GAYS AND LESBIANS Club. They decide to join Emory Dick's John Travolta club because it requires no work and it won't be slashed by April Tuna next week because Emory is April's boyfriend. Also, the club is called "Staying Alive," and Harrison points out that colleges will think it's some sort of Euthanasia club. Josh thinks Harrison is talking about Youth in Asia and thinks that would look "global" to college people. Shame on you, Popular writers, robbing jokes from the late Gilda Radner's character, Emily Litella.
Kennedy Hallway. Brooke enters, runs into Sam, and pumps her for information. Sam tells her that she missed a "Praying Mantis/Divine double feature" and that she was totally busted by Mike and Va-Jane-Ah, who want to discuss the incident at dinner that night. Brooke apologizes for dragging Sam into it. Sam asks her how the nookie was. Brooke tells Sam that they only fell asleep. "I lied for that?" says Sam. "Why didn't you just tell the truth?" Brooke promises to do just that at the dinner/inquisition. They exit and Emory and April enter. Emory is trying to lobby April to spare his club from being eliminated. April protests that she's trying to be impartial and shouldn't be discussing this with him. Nicole hears everything from her vantagepoint. She exits into the Novak, and Emory says goodbye to April. Now alone in the hall, April hears crying coming from the Novak. She goes to investigate. When she opens the door she finds Nicole weeping to herself. "Is everything…all right?" asks April, moved by Nicole's tears. "Has Tom Ford died?" Nicole assures her that he's still alive and thanks her for asking. "I'm disturbed to find a raptor as vicious as yourself suffering pain. Hankie?" April offers Nicole a skanky looking hankie. Now that we all know what Froo-tage is, if I were Nicole, I'd personally insist on knowing if that hankie had been handy the last time Emory Dick and April were in a broom closet together before I accepted it. But that's just me. Nicole accepts the hankie graciously and apologizes for "ripping [her] a new one" in Krupps' office. April acknowledges that she's been called worse by everyone else. Okay, you know those nature documentaries on snakes in the African jungle and how said snakes can stay very still while waiting for their prey and it's just so beautiful how poised they are waiting for their next meal? That's how Nicole is looking at April Tuna right now. "But from now on," says Nicole faux-earnestly. "We women need to stick together and not run each other down. She then proceeds to plant the idea in April's head that she's not being taken as seriously as she should be by the men in charge. "Boys like Gus and Emory think they own you," says Nicole. April acknowledges that it's "lonely at the top." "Having had status once, I have to say," says Nicole. Once you've had it, it's hard to lose." April thinks that's most profound statement she's heard in a while and writes it down in her cloth-bound "quote file." Nicole gets up to leave and wishes April good luck in picking a club to eliminate, gently hinting that April could really use the services of a loyal female advisor to help her make such an important decision. Just before she's out the door, April invites her to her office for a Fruitopia the following day. Nicole accepts and winks deviously at the camera.